45 Second Reviews: British Sea Power, The Heavy Circles, Simple Plan, Xiu Xiu

British Sea Power
Do You Like Rock Music?
Rough Trade

02:20-02:55 of “Waving Flags”
Hmm, yes I do like rock music. I appreciate it when bands ask me questions. It makes me really feel like I’m involved in their creative project. It’s kind of like when an author tells me right away that I’m smart and capable. I guess that means that British Sea Power thinks I’m smart, capable, and they like rock music too.

The Heavy Circles
The Heavy Circles
Dynamite Child

01:03-01:48 of “Henri”
Aw, this is cute. If I was a widower or a bored mother I bet I’d be super into this. This would totally be my chill-out album after a rough weekend with the kids when my Blackberry isn’t connecting to the Internet.

Simple Plan
Simple Plan
Atlantic Records

02:00-02:45 of “Your Love is a Lie”
I’m always a little astounded by these sort of crying in a beer pop-punk bands. I mean, I don’t know any of these people – at least I don’t think I do – the late 20s guys who are so sad that they can still write lines like, “You can tell me that there is nobody else, but I feel it.” It’s just really sad. I wonder if being in a band since childhood makes it so the songwriter can’t grow up – like Peter Pan. Even old men can write great love songs, but they usually have more emotional depth than this. I have some advice. Whatever girls you are dating: stop.

Xiu Xiu
Women as Lovers

00:00-00:45 of “No Friend Oh!”
I’m not going to lie. Xiu Xiu scares the living crap out of me. I can’t quite pin down exactly what it is about it, whether it’s the haunting glitchy music that sounds like Black Dice filtered through Bruce Springsteen or the fact that singer Jamie Stewart consistently sounds like he’s about to break into tears. Either way, I’m frightened.
-Thorin Klosowski