45 Second Reviews: B-52s, De Novo Dahl, Fuck Buttons, Thee Silver Mr. Zion Memorial Orchestra and Tra-la-la Band
01:15-02:00 of “Pump”
What the heck? Um, no seriously, what the heck? What made the B-52’s decide to release a record and, more importantly, why did they decide on the absolute stupidest album cover? You know, “Rock Lobster” is a great song that totally appeals to both my lobster-loving and rock-loving sides – but I don’t know what the heck “Pump” is about. Funplex my ass.
De Novo Dahl
Move Every Muscle, Make Every Sound
01:15-02:00 of “Shout”
No offense to fans of Flaming Lips, but I’m really sick of bands with big ideas and no skills to back them up. I mean, yeah, we can all go buy some analog synthesizers and listen to lots of rock and pop and a hint of white-boy-friendly R&B, but that doesn’t mean the record that comes out of it is going to be good. Any band that is going to describe themselves as “funky,” “energetic,” or heaven forbid “goofy,” can stay at home and listen to the B-52’s as far as I’m concerned.
00:45-01:30 of “Bright Tomorrow”
Oh little noise band, you and I used to be so similar, “friends 'til the end,” we’d say to each other as we wrapped ourselves up in blankets of reverb and a static wool hat. Now, like two lovers with whose ambitions have torn them apart I ask, “where are you taking this, where do you see yourself in two minutes – oh, right where I left you? I need someone with goals. This relationship is over.”
Thee Silver Mr. Zion Memorial Orchestra and Tra-la-la Band
13 Blues for Thirteen Moons
06:15-07:00 of “Black Waters Blowed/Engine Broke Blues”
First and foremost, I have to point out that it took me about a minute just to write out the album and information – pretentious Canadian jerkoffs – what, you’re waiting in line for five hours for your “great” socialized medicine and you take that time to come up with long band names and album titles? Anyway, this is still Silver Mr. Zion, regardless of the name change, and it still sounds like Silver Mt. Zion. So if you have a bunch of mushrooms and a campfire you should be all set.