45 Second Reviews: the Acorn, Autechre, Flogging Molly, Ashton Shepherd
Glory Hope Mountain
Paper Bag Records
00:22-01:07 of “Low Gravity”
The Acorn proves, apparently, that Canadian indie-rock has a “sound,” and bands like the Arcade Fire, Broken Social Scene, Wolf Parade and the Acorn all jerk each other off with their Baroque attitudes, collective ideals and slightly worldly hymns while being overly ambitious bands. Congratulations, you’ve created yourself a niche. What? No, I can’t tell what’s good and bad anymore, there are too many instruments.
02:00-02:45 of “Simm”
Buzz words usually associated with complex electronic music: futuristic, ambient, unlistenable, chaotic, machine, abstract, laptop, et al. Number of buzzwords that could be applied to Quaristice: all. Number of tracks that have unpronounceable names: 14. On a scale of one to ten, number that best corresponds with this reviewer's enjoyment of 45 second snippet: 12TasfG.
03:10-03:55 of “Float”
I’m really confused on how I feel about this. I mean, is it okay to circumvent and hijack a cultural music type and update it? Yeah, probably. The ability to update and change and still have the same resonance is the point of creating anything, and nothing is birthed from a vacuum. But at the same time, Flogging Molly sucks. So I don’t know. I think I’d rather listen to a Smithsonian maritime music sampler. Yeah, “Ten-Penny Bit” and “Shenandoah” is all I need.
Sounds So Good
01:55-02:40 of “Takin’ Off This Pain”
There is something really special about a woman that knows her place in the house and, as far as I can tell, Ashton Shepherd really understands what it takes to be a modern woman. Take the line, “You don’t never even talk to me/ I just get to do your laundry… but now I got this cold beer in my right hand/ and in my left my wedding band,” as a perfect example of this. I assume the cold beer is on its way to my hand, I’ll drink it and tell her about my superiority while she feeds me grapes.
-- Thorin Klosowski