Emma, Prom? -Ari

Joel Harvey is Ari from East High School's new hero.

Mine, too.

On his day off, Harvey happened to head into work at the Bluebird Theater and caught a phone call from Eli asking if the Bluebird would be willing to post his prom date invitation on the marquee. Having been spurned by a girl himself in high school -- and suffered the kind of pain and humiliation that is exponentially multiplied by age, acne and punk music -- Harvey jumped at the chance and jumped on a ladder. He says he even had to craft a question mark out of electrical tape to complete his masterwork of charity.

Remember when the Beastie Boys produced Grand Royal Magazine and every month featured another installment of "Real American Badass?" (The only one I can remember was Aaron Burr.) Well, I hereby declare Joel Harvey a Real American Badass. If anyone knows if Emma said yes (the marquee was changed after East High School's lunch ended; even charity has its limits), please let us know. Oh, and big-ups to Brofax for keeping it real on the 'fax.

-- Sean Cronin