Rihanna's "Rude Boy" video: lions and neon and sneers, oh my!

Rihanna's "Rude Boy" is the number one song in the country. Its accompanying video, meanwhile, is a hot mess, and we have officially never used that expression more accurately.

Because we probably like Rihanna more than we should, given that she can't actually sing, and because there's a blinding amount of shit happening here, we feel it's important to break down some of the video's key frames.

Rihanna, in guitar-pick miniskirt and garters, mashes away on a cymbal. This moment is synced against snare drum in the song, for the record.

Post-abuse Rihanna is a badass mofo. As evidenced by this sneer, which we will henceforth tally. So: the Sneer Count stands at one.

Sometimes, your monthly self-exam coincides with your video shoot, and neither is negotiable.

We hear this is a mating ritual in Barbados. OK, that is probably insensitive. The lion thing is certainly a motif in this video, which we assume is meant to indicate ferocity.

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"Come on rude boy boy can you get it up?" So subtle, this song.

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Sneer Count: 2.5 Disembodied lips count for 150%.

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Sneer Count: 8.5 (6 for this frame alone). Also, now is a good time to mention the fact that Rihanna is blatantly jacking M.I.A.'s style. In case that was unclear to anyone.

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Maybe it's just us, but... is she mirroring the pose of the geometric lion in this frame?

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Forget the hat for a second. It took us a couple viewings but those are most certainly technicolor digital watches in the background.

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And now she's jacking Santigold.

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Sneer count: 9. A fitting end.

Tags:

M.I.A., Rihanna, Rude Boy, Santigold