Introducing the Westword Knowcase all-star team

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We've been telling you about the Westword Music Knowcase for weeks. We've patiently explained how we will destroy all comers. We even took a few minutes to re-explain it, using only small words, to the conceited and confused elitists at the Donnybrook Writing Academy, who seemed to have trouble getting it the first time.

Now, it's almost time to play. In just three days, our all-star team of triviathletes will assemble once again, reuniting the greatest coalition of useless knowledge and strange talents the world has ever seen. And yes, that's reassembling.

Prior to our Westword exploits, our team used to work together as the supervillain alliance known as the League of Mayhem & Stuff. That's actually how we all came to work at Westword, actually -- but that's a story for another day. After the jump, meet the team and learn each of our special talents.

Member: Jon Solomon
Talent: Destruction via guitar. His solos can melt steel and/or women's panties. Plus he can grow a full beard overnight.

Member: Kyle Smith
Talent: Built himself an Iron Man-like suit out of old stomp boxes, midi patch bays and an Amiga computer. Can also spot a misplaced comma from space.

Member: Jef Otte
Talent: Hulk-like strength that increases as his blood-alcohol level increases. And knows more than one way to skin a cat.

Member: Thorin Klosowski
Talent: Has harnessed the power of noise as an elemental force, can direct it into energy beams, use it to fly and also make noise-balloon animals. He's really fun at kids' parties because of that last one.

Member: A.H. Goldstein
Talent: Able to summon the ghost of a reporter from the 1930s named Abe Goldstein. Can use this power to report on the growing power of the Nazis and the ongoing Great Depression. Also strangely irresistible to women.

Member: Cory Casciato
Talent: Can drink his own weight in cheap beer (not as impressive as it sounds when you see how scrawny he is) and looks decent in a suit.

There it is. You think you can beat that? We'd love to see you try. Remember, you don't have to a be a professional music-talking type to play, just have five friends and $30. Hopefully, we'll see you all there.

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