Ten best divorce songs for Tiger Woods, or anyone else headed for Splitsville

Turn up the Tammy

​Our long national nightmare is over. On Monday, the divorce between Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren was made official. While Tiger will likely continue to pull strange ass on the road and Nordegren will likely get a dumptruck-load of cash, we're going to suggest these songs to the former couple, or any couple headed toward, or already landed in, Splitsville.

1. Marvin Gaye - Here, My Dear
This entire double album by the soul singer was a concept album of sorts, dedicated to Gaye's failed first marriage to Anna Gordy, the older sister of Motown Records founder Barry Gordy.


2. Tammy Wynette - "D.I.V.O.R.C.E."
An appropriate song for Wynette, who had five husbands over the course of her life. So much for "Stand By Your Man."


3. Steely Dan - "Haitian Divorce"
A funky, melancholy, Caribbean ballad. Listen to it with a beer in a bar without air conditioning for maximum effect.


4. Stephen Lynch - "Divorce Song"
Either you love or loathe Stephen Lynch, but this funny song mentions drinking and poker. Prime line: "Daddy like porno and $10 whores." You get the picture. Unfunny people think this is a funny song. So famously dull (except when he's sending angry sexts) Tiger Woods should enjoy.


5. Liz Phair - "Divorce Song"
The twelfth song on Phair's 1993 album, Exile in Guyville. This song, an open letter to an ex-lover, just sounds dated (except for the last thirty seconds, which include a blistering harmonica outro), but the lyrics are timeless: "It's harder to be friends than lovers, and you shouldn't try to mix the two."