They can't love you back: 15 love songs about inanimate objects

Categories: Lists


10. Alice Cooper - "I Love the Dead"

Alice Cooper doesn't give a shit if you're alive or dead, but he'll love you a hell of a lot more if you're dead, which is about as inanimate as you can get. How the hell did he even get away with releasing this song?


9. Daniel Johnston - "Speeding Motorcycle"

Clearly, this song is an ode to a, uh, speeding motorcycle. We're just glad Daniel Johnston has something that'll always be by his side.


8. Donovan - "I Love My Shirt"

There is probably nobody else on the planet that could pull off a song about loving a shirt, shoes and jeans, but Donovan does so with such conviction that it's impossible not to worry about your favorite shirt, hanging all by itself in the closet.


7. Magnetic Fields - "Acoustic Guitar"

It's certainly not the only song around that's an ode to a guitar, but it's one of our favorites because it also happens to be one of the strangest.


6. Jonathan Coulton - "A Laptop Like You"

Look, we all love our laptops, but who would have thought a love song about one would have the tenderness of a traditional song? Kudos to Coulton for nearly hiding the true meaning of the song here.


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2 comments
Nita Stelling
Nita Stelling

Everything in this world does need a song to pay it tribute! Inanimate they may be, people have attached certain sentimental values to them. BTW, "I love my car" is also perfect for road trips!

dumpsterPunk
dumpsterPunk

What about Bad Religion's "I Love My Computer"?

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