Denver's six best juggalo-related Craigslist posts
Last night's Insane Clown Posse show and the previous night's Dark Lotus show, both at the Ogden, have left a generous amount of weed in the air, to be sure, but they also came with a circus-sized serving of juggalo love. While we were searching Craigslist for the ninja we thought we gazed meaningfully at during last night's show, we came across a few other gems on the site that are strictly for those who are down with the clown. Below is a list of the greatest and most Psychopathic (capital P, guys) posts in recent memory. In the meantime, we're still waiting for you, our ninja love.
6. ICP: Behind the Paint
For $15, the autobiography of one half of ICP can be yours. That's roughly $30 cheaper than the same book costs new on Amazon, and there's only one giant hole in the cover. I seriously debated even mentioning the literary epic in this post, in large part because I want it for myself.
5. Juggalo jerseys
Best part: "There's a couple of Faygo spots I couldn't get out, but you can barely notice them for reals."
4. "Juggalete that works at tacobel"
Who needs spelling when you have true love? And tacos? This post is one long run-on of missed opportunities and brave dreams wrapped in a crunchy shell of lasting lust. Were it not a month early and cross-listed in the Colorado Springs Craigslist site, we'd have found our man.
3. Stay the hell away, Fam
Before there was friendship with benefits, there was garden-variety, vanilla friendship. If you love clowns and know what MMFWCL means (Much Motherfucking Wicked Clown Love) this poster is looking for a friend like you. Unless, of course, you are Fam (?), in which case you can, "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET A LIFE DON'T FUCKING E MAIL ME ."
2. "Fat Kid Juggalo"
There is an entire dating website devoted to the world's most staunch Ayn Rand fans, so why shouldn't juggalos and juggalettes use the Internet to share their interests -- and their love? I'm not entirely sure why this post is in the site's Health and Beauty category, and this post took more research on urban dictionary than it took time to read it, but I see some glorious dates with this dude and his lette in their hooptie in the future. Maybe they could even hang out with this guy.
1. Anti-juggalo conspiracy leader
Not only is this person so not down with the clown that they've basically come up again, he or she might also be a conspiracy theorist. This post serves as evidence that in some ways the juggalo lifestyle really is still underground, despite the fact that ICP started in 1989 and full-fledged Gatherings have traded on carnage since 2000. Juggalos are not a gang, and this poster's knowledge of prison is worrisome.