Slipknot's Clown on the time he saw two hippies try to screw during Dillinger Escape Plan's set
While on stage, is that therapeutic for you?
No, my therapy is that I have walked on stage. It's up to me to give everything I have within me to kill myself, to gain some salvation, so one day in my life I have peace. That energy, that thought process, that love, that hate, transcends into and over to our fans. They heal me. I don't do it for them. I do it for me. They return because I do it for me.
It's being done for them, and they are able to get out what they need. We are one in the same. I have to get out what I need to show them that when I walk off stage and take my mask off, that I gave 190 percent. I'm still alive. I did allow myself my true potential, and I gave our culture everything I could possibly could give them, so they could get through a world that can't be trusted.
After Paul died, was the future of Slipknot ever in question, and will you seek a full time bass player?
I don't need to talk about a new bass player, because there will only be nine. Paul was number two of nine. He will always be there. He will always be at the round table with a glass of wine, our drink of choice, with a plate of food. He will always be involved with every record for the rest of our career. He will always be onstage. He will always be a part of the thought process.
As far as a new bass player is concerned, I don't have to think about that. The time that I have to think about that will come soon enough. Whatever is meant to be will be meant to be. I really don't even care to think about it, because there is no reason to think about it. I can't predict the future, nor will I. I'm not a fortuneteller.
When Slipknot made its first live appearance since Paul's death, did you feel that Paul was with you?
Absolutely. He is with me right now.
You have a photography book that was released on June 19. Why do I get the feeling this will not contain photographs of sunsets on the beach and puppy dogs?
Well, I do have one picture of a dog. It's manipulated, medium format Polaroid. It's not digital. It's not 35mm. It's a medium format camera that's meant to shoot 120mm film. You put a Polaroid back on it, pull it, and a couple of rollers release the chemicals. Then the process begins. I decided to get a master's degree and write a master's thesis.
At the end of eleven years, what I learned was expecting perfection is creating something original -- that becomes perfection to me. You cannot re-create what I created. When I pull it from a piece of paper and you look at it, it's one of a kind. It's like you going to take a piss right now and looking at yourself in the mirror. You will see a face that's nowhere else on this planet. That is special; that's what my book is about.
You're on a book tour as we speak, but fans can stop by the Mayhem Festival and get their copies signed, correct?
Yes, I'll sign the book to you. If you wanna bring some CDs, I'll sign them and take pictures with everybody. My fans are my people, and I'm not here to sign a book and push anyone aside; it's not about that. It's about connecting with people, connecting with art. I would not be able to do what I'm doing without the fans -- and Paul Gray, he believed in my art, and I believed in his music. Together we decided to change the world, and that's what we did. He's gone, but I'm still here doing my art, and I would be honored to sign CDs that he was a part of, that I'm a part of, that the rest of my brothers are a part of. I'm certainly interested in taking a photo with anyone who took time out of their busy schedule in life to say hello.
Anything you would like to add?
Actually, there is something I want to say, and I say it all the time. Thank you to all of our loyal fans, our maggots, our culture, and our people. Thank you for all the work, the letters, the Facebook posts, the energy to the air, the ground, the vibrato, whatever the hell you wanna call it. We are honored to be a band that you love.
We are blessed that we have you, and it has helped in our time of need, mentally, more than anyone will ever know. I never speak on behalf of anyone but myself, but I can say this for the whole entire band, we love each and every one of our fans. We can't thank everybody enough. You mean the world to us. It's on, so get ready for the future, because it's a heavy one.