Can't win a date with Marnie Stern? Who's your dream date from the Denver music scene?

Categories: Commentary

Kiernan Maletsky
Ah, yes, if only you lived in New York, you could win a date with the illustrious Marnie Stern. But you don't, so who would you most like to win a date with in Denver?

So this Win a Date With Marnie Stern contest everybody is working themselves into a lather about this morning is ingenious. Seriously. Worked like a charm, Kill Rock Stars. Way to go! Problem is, the label, which is financing this enviable excursion to promote Stern's forthcoming Chronicles of Marnia, has limited entries to those who live in the New York area. Pretty sure Denver doesn't qualify. Just the same, maybe there's something to this whole thing: Let's say we had the wherewithal (we don't, but, then again, maybe we do) to set up a date with any single person (and by single, we mean not attached -- we're not trying to break up any marriages here) from the Denver scene, who would you most like to win a night out with, and why? Weigh in below. Oh, but before you do that, check out the note Marnie Stern's publicist sent about dating her:

See also:
- Marnie Stern and Tera Melos at Moe's, 3/12/11
- Marnie Stern puts herself out there on her latest record
- Meet Marnie Stern, the reluctant virtuoso

Hipster guys, are you tired of seeing Marnie Stern have relationships with an endless array of losers and bores? Don't you think a guitarist as great as Marnie should have someone special to watch Law and Order SVU with? Do you enjoy petting dogs while eating chicken wings? And honestly, don't you think a nice, positively cute, 30-something Jewish girl should meet the man of her dreams? We sure do!

If you live in the New York City area (no long-distance beaus, please) and are not a total creep/stalker (we will KNOW if you are), please send an email with your answers to the application questions below, your favorite Marnie song, and a recent photo of yourself. Marnie's record label will pay for this date, but you're paying for the next one!

Age, religion, and race are not a factor, but a sense of humor is critical. Marnie's ideal man is a homebody who doesn't mind that his girlfriend is out of town on tour a lot, and is not a drug addict, a slacker, or a vegan.

One more thing: Marnie doesn't get to pick the winner, Marnie's record label and publicist do, so go ahead and charm the metaphorical pants off us. We just want the best for her...and maybe you are it!!

You can find more info at

Please email all applications to

Are you gainfully employed? Elaborate.
When/how long was your last relationship?
What are your hobbies/interests?
What qualities do you most enjoy in a woman?
List any anti-depressants you currently take:
What do you know about Marnie and why do you want to date her?
What would your most recent ex-girlfriend say about you? Can we get her email?
Where would you take Marnie on a first date and why?

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I'd say Kim Dawson but she's already dating a friend of mine. And also I am not a lesbian. But Kim is ridiculously talented and super hot, to boot.


I like those naughty Nuns of Brixton. Dirty boys. Especially their lead guitarist.

DonkeyHotay topcommenter

All the Ladyz from Titwrench fest ...


Coles Whalen - no question.


Second Nun from Stage Right!  Super-dreamy!


Emily Hobbs from Poet's Row  


The drummer from the Hot I.Q's

dave.herrera moderator editor

@p.quinby Ah, yes, Elaine Acosta. I don't believe she's single, but thanks for weighing in.

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