Oh, you know, no big -- just a death-metal flea market and swap meet this Saturday at Rhino

What are you doing this Saturday night? Cancel it. Now. No, really. Take my word for it: Whatever you've got planned, I can guarantee it's gonna be lame as shit compared to this -- well, unless you're all set to be launched into space or something. That would probably be a little bit cooler. But outside of that, this is it, man, a fucking death-metal flea market and swap meet! Ever been? Neither have I, but it sounds rad, doesn't it? I mean, a death-metal flea market and swap meet! I don't know, maybe it's just the edgier cousin to the punk-rock flea market, but it certainly sounds brutal. And why wouldn't it? Everything goes better with death metal.

See also:
- Voice Places: Rhinoceropolis, 3553 Brighton Boulevard
- Cephalic Carnage: Meet the masters of heady metal
- The 25 most badass local metal album covers

From the sounds of it, this isn't your everyday weekend suburban garage sale stocked with somebody else's crappy thrift-store rejects. Or maybe it is, I don't know. Could be. But that's seems doubtful, considering who's hosting this thing: only the baddest badasses in all of Denver, the revered elder statesmen of Legion of Death, plus the dudes from Cephalic Carnage, Zombie Hate Brigade, Catheter and Scalafrea. Oh, the mind reels, frankly. I'm picturing finding some totally gnarly shit like a hollowed-out velociraptor skull fashioned into a salsa bowl for dipping or something.

Maybe not. It's more likely you'll find a bunch of stuff like new and used CDs, T-Shirts, posters, DVDs, vinyl records and stickers. But you never know. Anyhow, here's the goods if you want to go: It's at Rhino, and the doors open at 6 p.m. on Saturday night. Fistulous is supposed to jam at some point, and a five-buck donation will get you in. Oh, and if you want to showcase your wares, there's still time for you to get the hookup. If you've got $10 to throw down, call 303-518-1302 to reserve your space.