The ten biggest concert buzzkills

How about the Human Metronome? They stand directly in front of you and sway back and forth. The only way you can see the concert is to sway the exact oposite direction as them. 

people are too opinionated and sensitive these days. do whatever makes you feel good because you are you and dont worry about what your supposed to be or say. spread good energy rather than being focused on what someone else is doing that bothers you. focus on the music, be respectful and open to making a connection with your neighbor rather being a lame ass. you might just be surprised by the results if you follow the above. 

This has been posted to fb like THREE times now. Omg get it together.

8 out of 10 illustrations are bros, Westword pics the nipple clip art. AGAIN. Nice work, 14-year-old boy interns!

The talker is the worst! And if the band is sitting down you can sit down, if not STAND THE FUCK UP regardless if you have a seat or not. You lazy bastards!

People who show up late and leave early--why did you waste all that money on a ticket if you didn't really want to be there?!!  Also, people who walk around half the show, totally oblivious to the band, either looking for their seats or their friends--usually some douche with his girlfriend in tow.  And finally, people in the balconies who insist on standing the entire show even when everyone else around them is sitting--GET FLOOR TICKETS IF YOU WANT TO STAND THE WHOLE TIME!!!

I'm married to a Wet Bulldozer.  As a short, reserved dude at the show, this has allowed me to bypass many Human Eclipses as I trail in her wake but I do always feel slightly guilty by association.  I am definitely in awe of how she's able to walk through the most crowded of clubs as if there aren't any people there.

because people can control how tall they are and should be discriminated accordingly...

It's as if you somehow read my mind to write this piece.  I've also had my buzz killed by the "Wet Bulldozer" suggested by shinstigator.   And I can't come up with a new and clever name for them, but crowd surfers are also a giant buzzkill for me.  I don't know how many times I've been kicked in the head or shoulder by some guy in heavy boots who's crowd surfing.  

Where's the wet bulldozer?  You know that girl that just plows through the crowd to get to the front and spills her drink (or your own drink) all over you as she indiscriminately body checks anyone in her way?  This is usually not guys because they would get a beat down for this.

I always have the luck of being near the talker. Or a group of them. I've heard a riveting conversation on bananas, first dates with only one interested party, and while at the Jack White concert at Red Rocks, the mind-blowing information that Jack White is known for how he plays the guitar. Thanks Talker. I would have never known otherwise. 

Proud Karaoke King. I have a great voice too! I could be famous if they'd just let me up on stage, come on, just this once. I may be singing along, but at least I'm also dancing, unlike all of you boring people. Why are you here if you're going to do your best to act like you're not?

I have to say I can tolerate or at least be amused by almost all "types" on this list other than 'THE TALKER". I don't care if you scream, yodel, dance, or do a live webinar with your Ipad next to me. But when it's a quieter show and all I can hear is you talking stupidly over the musicians it is like nails on a chalk board. I was at a show once when this guy was loudly arguing with his GF about whether Coldplay or Radiohead was better. First of all, you need to get rid of that gal if she seriously arguing for Coldplay. Secondly, neither of these bands were playing so WTF are you doing?. I don't know of a good way to solve this problem other than moving. If you tell the person  to shut up you get the classic "It's a concert dude.!!" response. Although I did recently see an entire audience at Ben Folds Five publicly shame this one gal into shutting up who was talking during the bands  quietest and prettiest moments. 

Oh and 2nd most annoying person at a show.  One who is judging the people at the show and making comments about them.  "If you don't like the people around you, move!"  I know it's the young kids that usually drive me out of a spot cause I can't handle the 18+ shows where the kids get wasted before coming in and try to charge to the rail cause it's just soo cool!

The real most annoying person at a show? One who does nothing! I like standing and doing nothing or maybe holding onto my girlfriend cause I don't know how to dance and dancing just isn't cool bra.  My opinion is be yourself, dress up, get messed up, make new friends, hit on women, dance your ass off, stop talking, and at the end of the night get laid and play banjo in the hotel to just almost get kicked out.

That's so funny...made my day

Damn Sun blocking giants :( they always find me

I guess I'm not easily bothered...

ALL. OF. THEM.

Sunblock Giant should have been The Human Eclipse.

Awesome!

Too many.

I'd say half to 2/3 of shows are filled with these "directors" and its fucking terrible.

you forgot the biggest buzzkill. idiots that bitch about other people at the show as if they are somehow better than everyone around them. i.e. you're the idiot that cant enjoy a show because you're too concerned with picking at individual personallities. go back to your coffee shops and snap to clap. judgemental fool.

I'm the Sun Blocking Giant. :(

The talker!! This guy sat in front of us at a Stones concert in Phoenix - never. once. stopped. talking. And to top it off, he played big important man with a stinky cigar whose smoke blew into my face and into my lungs for the entire evening. I hacked up black crud all the next day.

First Rule of Rock N' Roll 

1. There are no rules to Rock N' Roll...

All of these weird people ARE the concert. This is why people go... I have to say westword, you are losing it. Stop making fun of the people that make it possible for you to have a job. Jackass

I had an encounter with a variation of the Maniac a week or so ago.  This version was the nostalgic party animal version, not the brooding angry one.  He fondly remembers what it was like to see NOFX in 1998 and thinks this sort of crowd behavior belongs at every concert he attends.

I have conflicting emotions about this guy.  I mean, yeah, I remember jumping into a sea of thrashing people when I was 15 too, and now simply don't have that kind of pent-up aggression.  However, it made me smile to see how excited people were to see music.  I haven't seen that in a decade, and I can't help but think these actions have some merit.  Yeah, I could do without the part where he jumps into the group of hundred-pound girls I was trying to hit on between sets, but shouldn't we all be so exuberant while watching music actually be PERFORMED in front of us?

It's made me reevaluate this character, if only slightly.  Now crowd-surfers?  Death Penalty.

Proud to say I have been both #7 and #6 at certain points in my life. I have no regrets.

yet you show these people off. weird.

I found this piece mildly amusing since it appeared to be fairly accurate.  However, I will have to disagree with the portrayal of "The Maniac" being specific to metal acts.  After seeing many outdoor metal concerts, I can honestly say one thing, "I've never observed or met this person" at such a gathering.  With the exception of Slayer fans, most Headbangers are fairly stoned & docile despite their more foreboding appearance.  When Slayer takes the stage, things go into overdrive nuts.  Bon fires are common in San Antonio.  Fights are also likely to break out.  However, I've never witnessed any violence at a metal concert.  Yes, mosh pits can get a bit unruly, but that is the purpose, isn't it?  If you don't want to be slammed, stay the fuck out of the pit.