The worst rock/pop lyrics of all time: 20-11

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Join us as we go further down the rabbit hole of cringe-worthy rock lyrics, making our way through an underselling David Lee Roth, a culture war waged by Avril Lavigne, a melodramatic suicide note from Blink 182, some lumpy Black Eyed Peas and Chinese food that makes LFO sick, while Bob Dylan and the Newsboys battle it out for shittiest Christian Rock one liners. So lower your bars of expectation, the Bee Gees are about to find out how deep your love is, and it's going to be a bumpy ride.

See also:
- The 50 worst rock/pop lyrics of all time: 50-41
- The 50 worst rock/pop lyrics of all time: 30-21
- The 50 worst rap lyrics: The complete list

20. Van Halen - "Jump"

"I ain't the worst that you've seen/Oh can't you see what I mean/Might as well jump/Jump!/Might as well jump"

Oh, Diamond Dave, why is it that you can sell yourself as the sexiest narcissist on the planet when you hump the camera lens and perform slow motion jump-kicks during the video for this song, and yet the best pitch you have for the girl of your fancy is: "I ain't the worst that you've seen." And you follow this up with the thrilling recommendation that she "jump!" Sounds more like a Samuel Beckett play than a coke-rocking-orgy. Come on, you're David Lee FUCKING Roth. Shouldn't you insist that she have her clothes ripped off by rabid monkeys while wearing a gas mask and chained to the brick-wall of your sound-proof love dungeon while you sing show-tunes and swing an enema bag over your head?

19. Avril Lavigne - "Complicated"

"You see you're making me laugh out/When you strike your pose/Take off all your preppy clothes/You know you're not fooling anyone"

There's nothing worse than a Hot Topic suburban-goth calling another kid inauthentic. This mall-punk tribute to dressing one way and not another embodies everything that is horrible about being a teenager. The poor kid she's singing to could've just as easily been a conformist, sporting green-hair, in Dickies shorts with a chain wallet, while macking on Avril Lavigne at Orange Julius, and now that he shops at American Eagle and publicly hates NOFX, he's actually being himself.

18. Kansas - "Dust In The Wind"

"I close my eyes/Only for a moment/And the moment's gone/All my dreams pass before my eyes/A curiosity/Dust in the wind/All they are is dust in the wind"

First off, I think this video qualifies as the ultimate ambassador of the 1970s. The lyrics are also a pretty legit example of what happens when you combine too much coke and too little creative integrity. Unless you've got a blood and blow smeared nose while rocking out on a waterbed below a disco ball, this song doesn't come close to sounding as epic as it intends to be.

17. Blink 182 - "Adam's Song"

"I took my time/I hurried up/The choice was mine/I didn't think enough/I'm too depressed to go on/You'll be sorry when I'm gone"

These lines could've been plucked out of the diary of pretty much any teenager growing up in the '90s, for more reasons than just the Nirvana plagiarism. This song was intended to be the thoughtful, more prescient side of Blink 182 -- but it's probably the most juvenile set of lyrics the band has ever composed, sounding more like a whiny threat shouted at your mother when she wont let you go to the Dashboard Confessional show on a school night.


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4 comments
dropjawbertone
dropjawbertone

Definitely not agreeing with this about "How Deep Is Your Love" or "Dust In The Wind". Get a clue and stop finding reasons to be negative.

firesoforion
firesoforion

So many truly cringeworthy lyrics and you have hardly hit any of them.  Meanwhile, many of yours are a stretch and taken out of context.  

"He says Bill I believe this is killing me/as the smile ran away from his face."  <-- Literally no reason or justification for a blaring grammatical error.  

"Generals gathered in their masses/just like witches at black masses" <--  It's bad enough to rhyme a word to itself, but this is *the first* line of the song, with no instrumental backing so the voices/lyrics are emphasized more.  

"1,2,3,4 Can I have a little more? / 5,6,78910 I love you. / A,B,C,D Can I bring my friend to tea? / E,F,GHIJ I love you."  The chorus of this one was simply the words "All Together Now" repeated over and over and over.  And the title of the song is All Together Now.  Paul McCartney was feeling extra specially creative that day.  

"Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head." followed shortly by "Put on my coat, grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds flat."  Again, seriously.  There's a lot of good in that song but it was pretty much all John Lennon's part.  

"Why don't we do it in the road?  Why don't we do it in the road?  Why don't we do it do it in the road?  Why don't we do it in the road?  Why don't we do it in the roooooaaaaaaaaaaadddddd?  No one will be watching us.  Why don't we do it in the road?"  Am I hitting the Beatles/Paul pretty hard on this?  Sorry.  They had some good stuff but they had some pure crap as well.  Even Yesterday's lyrics are mediocre.    

Those are the ones which popped into my head fastest, but there are many others.

Alf Ktcl
Alf Ktcl

Yeah, you lost me on "Carrie Anne"...

Samuel Lee Pritchett
Samuel Lee Pritchett

Man, I just can't get behind that. Felt like you were searching for bad stuff to say about a few pretty rad songs.

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