The 50 worst rock/pop lyrics: The complete list

Categories: Lists

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Well, here we are, at the end of the road of lyrical idiocy. As our countdown to crappiness finally culminates, we've trained our eye on some of the greatest lyricists in rock, who, during select moments, greatly disappointed us with their valueless verse. These lyrics are all bad on their own terms, but they're made even worse when you consider who wrote them. Continue on for the complete list of the fifty worst rock/pop lyrics of all time.

See also:
- The 50 worst rap lyrics: The complete list
- The 20 Worst Hipster Bands: The Complete List
- The ten worst EDM songs of 2012

50. Cher - "Believe"

"Do you believe in life after love/I can feel something inside me say/I really don't think you're strong enough"

It often sounds as if the producer Mark Taylor did everything he could to chop and distort the words of this song. Unfortunately, they still come in as clear today as they did when this song was first released in the late '90s -- and they're just as unpleasantly infectious.

49. Steve Miller Band - "The Joker"

"Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah/Some call me the gangster of love/Some people call me Maurice/'Cause I speak of the pompitous of love"

"The Joker" has always been a jukebox favorite of piss-drunk meatheads who believe they're charming enough to approach strangers. Which is appropriate, because the songwriter also seems to believe he's Oscar Wilde, yet he writes the lyrical equivalent of a soiled beer mat.

48. The New Seekers - "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing"

"I'd like to build the world a home/And furnish it with love/Grow apple trees and honey bees/And snow-white turtle doves"

Begins as a Coca-Cola ad, becomes a twelve-million-selling single, finishes as a lesson to marketing students about how not to be a jackass while trying to appropriate youth culture.

47. Puddle of Mudd - "Control"

"I love the way you look at me/I love the way you smack my ass/I love the dirty things you do/I have control of you"

How much control can you have while someone is smacking your ass and doing dirty things to you?

46.Oasis - "D'You Know What I Mean"

"All my people right here, right now/D'you know what I mean? (yeah, yeah)"

There is no greater illustration of Noel Gallagher's 1997 demise as a songwriter than his inability to finish this sentence.


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2 comments
dtering23
dtering23

Good list, although you could have put EVERYTHING Herman's Hermits ever wrote and it would have been accurate.  I do think that Ratt's Round and Round deserves a prominent place on this list, however.  It's mostly just random phrases that don't seem to go anywhere.  For example:


Another day, some other way
We're gonna go, but then we'll see you again
I've had enough, we've had enough
Cold in vain, she said


Just a thought.  Thanks for adding all of the video links, by the way--those were fun.

comeintokyo
comeintokyo

Many of these were great entries for this list, and I enjoyed reading it. But I disagree with your #1. The lyrics were created in good spirit, poking fun at what they do. The same situation occurred with Dire Straits and  'Money for Nothing'.

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