Macklemore song allegedly drives Longmont woman to assault her boyfriend on his birthday

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A 23-year-old Longmont woman was arrested over the weekend for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend -- over Macklemore's inescapable hit single "Thrift Shop," which he wouldn't stop singing.

When "Thrift Shop" first came out, before it got completely driven into the ground, it was actually a pretty catchy single. Of course once you've heard it nine million times, it loses its luster and just becomes grating. It's enough to drive you to drink, or madness -- or both, in this case.

See also:
- Macklemore's You Can Play anti-homophobic PSA filmed at Winter on the Rocks
- Macklemore at CU Boulder's Balch Fieldhouse on 4/19
- Review: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and more at Red Rocks, 2/1/13

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Eric Gruneisen
Slide show: Macklemore at the Ogden in December.
According to a police report obtained by the SmokingGun.com, the woman arrested is Samantha Malson, a 2007 graduate of Loveland High School who works as a nursing assistant. The alleged assault reportedly occurred when Malson's boyfriend wouldn't stop singing the words to "Thrift Shop." There were other mitigating factors that contributed to the incident. The episode took place after a night of heavy drinking, from the sounds of it.

The fight reportedly started when Malson's boyfriend and alleged victim, Lars Hansen, who was apparently celebrating his 26th birthday, began haranguing Malson about drinking all the booze in the house. She stepped out for a short time and sat in her car, presumably to cool off, then returned a short time later, at which point the pair put "Thrift Shop" on the stereo. That's when everything escalated, apparently.

From the Longmont Police report:

"Malson said that she asked Hansen '25 times' to stop singing. Malson said, 'He just annoyed me" and 'I pushed him.' Malson demonstrated this (without me asking or prompting) by shoving her fingertips into the air repeatedly. She said she pushed him a couple of times and, 'I grabbed him around the throat," showing me her left hand in a choking type hold. Malson then said, 'I did it for intimidation.'

Again, she made this statement without me asking any questions or prompting her. Malson then said, 'You're the police. I'm not gonna lie to you,' and then said, 'I shoudn't have come back inside.' I asked her if Hansen had grabbed her at all during this encounter. Malson stated that while she was 'pushing him,' Hansen grabbed her wrists, then began to demonstrate, 'I pulled this one (showing me her left hand) away and I went for his throat' again demonstrating the previously [sic] described choking motion/grip.

Malson again stated that Hansen was being annoying, singing the lyrics over and over and she just wanted him to stop. I repeated to Malson that, according to her version of events, she was poking Hansen in the chest to make him stop singing, and that was when Hansen grabbed her wrists. Malson corrected me saying she 'pushed' him in the chest and then said that what I had repeated was correct. I repeated my question that Hansen only grabbed her wrists after she was pushing him to ensure I was understanding her correctly. Malson again told me that was correct."

For his part, Hansen reportedly didn't remember anything from the incident. After being placed in custody, police determined that Malson also had a bench warrant for her arrest in Denver for a failure to appear charge from last year. While being transported to the Longmont police station, Malson contended that she was only acting in self-defense, and she was later transferred to Boulder County Jail.

Continue reading for the full police report.


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24 comments
Rob Salyers
Rob Salyers

Inescapable? I know of it, but I've never heard it.

Brian Daub
Brian Daub

That song didn't make her do shit. She's just a fucking psycho chick who like to beat on dudes.

Joe Thompson
Joe Thompson

How do you hear a Macklemore song at all? Much less 9 million times. I've never had that problem. I saw a pathetic excuse for a freestyle he did in a youtube video once. Been trivial to never hear him again since. I feel bad for people that were assaulted by his music.

David Meyer
David Meyer

We know it's a true story, because...LOL Longmontucky.

Sarah Castle
Sarah Castle

That song was funny before it made it to the radio. Radio ruined it!

Valerie Cates
Valerie Cates

He was allegedly wearing her granddads clothes...apparently he didn't look incredible.

Sedrick Tasker
Sedrick Tasker

I totally believe this shit and understand, now stop writing/talking about Macklemore. His independence is awesome, his music -- not so much.

christine.shock
christine.shock

Texans are too cheap to pay for Colorado plates...I know someone who moved here in 1986 and still has their expired Texas plates on their car...and he still can't drive in the snow!

Chad Hill
Chad Hill

Did she do it in public or while being served a warrant for something else?

Taylor Ryan
Taylor Ryan

That's what happens when you listen to any white rapper with "Mac" in their name.

rockiesfever
rockiesfever

Whats really good is that Macklemore is in recovery from addiction/alcoholism. So if these longmonters are fans maybe they will consider following suit

Carlos Galvan
Carlos Galvan

that song probably has this effect on A LOT of people ahaha

Aaron Duran
Aaron Duran

He probably deserved it with his pop music listenin' ass. lol

Dave Rossi
Dave Rossi

Thank god nobody can sing Sigur Ros, I'd be punching people left and right.

Tommy Metz
Tommy Metz

I assault myself everytime I hear that song.

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