The ten things rock stars do to try to remain relevant when their stars start to fade

Categories: Lists

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We all have to make a buck, and musicians are absolutely no different. When their music careers start to fade, they still have to pay the bills. And with the endless parade of also-rans appearing on Celebrity Apprentice, we are continually reminded just how low some will go to keep their name in the headlines. Some are clearly shrewder than others. Here's a look at the ten things rock stars do to try to remain relevant.

See also:
- Ten rockers who found religion
- The 50 worst rock/pop lyrics: The complete list
- The best and worst of sitcoms starring musicians

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10. Reality television
No other show can compare to Celebrity Apprentice; good ol' comb-over has (temporarily) employed washed-up musicians such as: Meat Loaf, LaToya Jackson, Lil John, Bret Michaels and Cindy Lauper. Sure, we are watching just to see how sad their lives have become, and we know they say the proceeds all go to charity, but come on...we all know they receive some financial gain from the publicity.

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9. Finding Jesus
After an artist's musical career goes bust, the only person who seemingly still loves him/her is the J-Dawg. So why not sell out to him and either perform his music or preach on his behalf? After all, considering the sinning some musicians commit during their fifteen minutes of fame, it's no surprise that some feel compelled to rock out the rest of their lives by nuzzling up to the big guy. MC Hammer, for example, decided that his way was the way of God.

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8. Creating a brand
Most celebrities are smart enough to brand themselves while the iron is still hot, but some try to step into the product-slinging spotlight well after their music careers are over. Queen Latifah (we love her) isn't really chart-topping anymore, so she decided to get some fashion love on HSN. Chili of TLC, meanwhile, has her own handbag line and hawks fitness videos and products. Paula Abdul had her hand in the HSN bag as well, but apparently the network canceled her shit due to low sales and the fact that she can't be trusted to be comprehensible on camera.


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11 comments
CocoHudson
CocoHudson

The Acting spot would have been better to have a list of musician-gone-actors, I think it would be a close race between Mark Wahlberg and Will Smith for most famous change-overs.

damian.burford
damian.burford

I seem to remember (MC) Hammer was always rapping and singing about Jesus, loooong before his career took a downfall. That was why we all laughed when he tried to become a gansta rapper.

Veronica Crowell
Veronica Crowell

Here's a tip for them to stay relevant. Keep writing and recording music we want to listen to. We will continue to give a shit.

Mark Pants
Mark Pants

Tiffany was a helluva rock star.

Skippy T. Farnsworth
Skippy T. Farnsworth

Relevant is just people trying to sound high minded when they are being shallow and putting someone down for not being FUCKING TRENDY anymore or just getting older. Music for music sake. Fuck all you glorified bloggers.

Bug007
Bug007

The photo in #5 obviously isn't Gene Simmons. It is Axl Rose. And the author says "case in point, Gene Simmons..." how this person a music writer if they couldn't tell the two apart?!

CocoHudson
CocoHudson

@Nunyaz Bizniss You're so right. Doing reality TV, Playboy, plastic surgery, etc. is the best way to avoid "being trendy"

dave.herrera
dave.herrera moderator editor

@Bug007 Dave Herrera here, editor: I actually placed that photo, and as a card-carrying member of the KISS Army, I am well aware of the difference between Gene Simmons and Axl Rose -- Simmons was simply invoked as an example of a rockstar whose had work done. Rose would be another. That said, blame me, if anything, not the writer. Totally my bad.

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