The ten geekiest metal bands

Categories: Lists, Metal!

coheed-and-cambria-shot.jpg
Where do you think Coheed and Cambria ranks on this list?

Geeks love metal more than the computers on which they listen to it. They yearn for heavy metal that was forged by Orcs in the mountains of Mordor, smuggled halfway across the universe on Serenity and then discovered by Silver Surfer while scouting for delicious planets. These bands aren't necessarily geeks themselves -- many could rip the head off a vile beast with their bare bear hands. They are just universally beloved by geek mortals of Earth because of their diction and artistic execution. These ten metal brethren will get thee mentally armored for the battlefield that is Comic Con. So take up arms, climb upon that faithful steed and unsheathe thy reading glasses for this deciphered binary code of the best geek-metal bands.

See also:
- The 25 coolest Iron Maiden T-shirts we saw last night at Comfort Dental Amphitheatre
- Coheed and Cambria delivers nerd metal you can play with
- Brendon Small of Dethklok talks Metalocalypse

10. Wormed
In a country full of bullfighters and fiestas, it seems unlikely that anything geeky would exist, even more that it would be a respected metal band. But apparently the brains in Spain stays mainly in the plain, and also in heavy-metal music by Wormed. The band spends much of its discography unearthing lyrical themes of astronomy, astrophysics, biology and human evolution with an extremely deep and complex analysis. Stephen Hawking has to be one of the few that can fully understand the band's big-brained lyrics in songs like "Pulses in Rhombus Forms," with deeply growled vocals by lead singer Phlegeton: "Two dimensions used/Plus strange cosmic hole/Organism likes spectra-fusion/In this strange rhombuillision." What in blue blazes does that mean?

9. Dethklok
Dethklok is the seventh-largest economy on Earth and arguably the greatest entertainment force in the history of the world, or in their cartoon world -- details, schmetails. Not only is the act in an adult cartoon on Adult Swim called Metalocalypse, it is also a real-life concert-playing band spawned from the show. Geeks wish they could live in Dethkok's massive citadel called Mordhaus, where the band lives, records and gets shitfaced. Dethklok is the type of band that doesn't forget to bring its ax and sword while golfing, wears titanium-based diamond-encrusted codpieces and shoots dragons down with a magic guitar wand in the song "Crush My Battle Opponent's Balls." If that wasn't already geeky enough, Mark Hamill does the voices for several characters on the show.

8. Manowar
Manowar is brooding in lyrics crowned in fantasy-flamed, sword-and-sorcery Norse mythology and has collaborated with Saruman -- also known as Sir Christopher Lee -- on Battle Hymns MMXI, featuring Lee as a narrator. Eric Adams's powerful vocals accompany his wordy wizardry to really drive home the band's aggressive themes. Manowar isn't afraid to grace albums with opera covers like the William Tell Overture, Nessun Dorma and Phantom of the Opera. Man o' War was a heavy-firepower warship used from the sixteenth to the nineteenth centuries. Manowar will go down in the geeky metal history books -- many, many history books.


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87 comments
John Pett
John Pett

Coheed! yay! Yes, VERY geeky.

teababe27
teababe27

Forgot about Powerglove and Blind Guardian.

theogoth
theogoth

Where's Battlelore, The Summoning, and Ahab?

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

I love very much that you wrote this, brother. : )

Tristan Smith
Tristan Smith

Not sure if joking or just didn't read headline...

Seth Bruce
Seth Bruce

Seriously!?! LED ZEPPELIN is nowhere on this list!?! How can you possibly create a list like this and leave them out? For shame.

rob64ert
rob64ert

after reading some of these lists , it is becoming clear that no one here got a clue about music this is just random bullshit , and the clowns writing back o what about this band and what about that band , will all I have to say about you is your mothers should have swallowed  

jessica
jessica

What about Nightwish?

ShowMeTheStars
ShowMeTheStars

No Battlelore?? They are a power metal band, with melodic death metal thrown in from Finland. All of their lyrics revolve around Tolkien's Middle-Earth mythologies. Their albums follow the chronological order of Middle-Earth's history. If that isn't geeky metal, I don't know what is.

rhuarc5684
rhuarc5684

Dio is the Suicide King....And gwar is the HAZMAT crew


Tekken82
Tekken82

I would have probably added Blind Guardian and 3 inches of Blood but otherwise a great list.

liskersky
liskersky

LOL and powerglove? and blind guardian? and rhapsody of fire?

Jay Mesa
Jay Mesa

Nice to see Anthrax made the list!

zacass6
zacass6

I think that this should be on the front page of the Denver post

piatekluke
piatekluke

True, but I think Demons and Wizards have their own feel to them, their lyrics and sound are independent in my mind, but that's just me. 

piatekluke
piatekluke

Ya, I don't know how you could miss Blind Guardian, Demons and Wizards, Iced Earth, or Hammerfall, like really?

TempestStorm154
TempestStorm154

HORSE the band? it's god damn nintendo core, what more you want.

jaysym
jaysym

no tool huh? i guess singing/drumming in the Fibonacci sequence while speaking about spiraling out human consciousness (a metaphysical Fibonacci reference) to become divine isn't very geeky at all...

spywolf71
spywolf71

dude where in the hell is BLIND GUARDIAN!!!!!

dsd0
dsd0

Blind Guardian??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

dsd0
dsd0

Blind Guardian??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

TenaciousB
TenaciousB

problem is this is a list of only ten, should be more like 50

johnvegan.geo
johnvegan.geo

I think there's a lot of power/melodic metal bands, some technichal/prog bands, and many others modern stuff in metal should be more appropriated then Dio, Maiden and Anthrax... It's not a good list, sorry :(

Dagoth
Dagoth

Wtf...where is Blind Guardian and Rhapsody of Fire? O.o 

wolfradcimmer
wolfradcimmer

Menudos retrasados mentales estáis hechos: "En un país lleno de toreros y fiestas no pueden existir geeks"... Vais de cultos y entendidos y no tenéis ni puta idea del mundo: sacáis el típico y tópico sobado estereotipo y despacháis en una frase todo un país y la gente que lo habita. 

Ya sé que tu país está lleno de white-trash y analfabetos funcionales, pero ir de "geek" y siendo un puto ignorante no es de recibo...

Sé hablar y escribir perfectamente en inglés, cosa que seguro vosotros no podéis hacer, pero escribo en castellano porque me sale de los cojones y para obligaros a estudiar un poco, que falta os hace... A mamarla!

Benjamin Adams
Benjamin Adams

Protest the Hero should be on the list IMO....they are considered Mathcore.

vincentvalentine
vincentvalentine

has anyone ever heard of a band called Powerglove? Metal renditions of classic video game music! If that doesn't scream nerdy, then I don't want to live on this planet anymore

andyair
andyair

If you can't remember Dio was made famous by RAINBOW and not Black Sabbath who he did later join. You probably shouldn't be writing about him............

getmeouttahere
getmeouttahere

I'd add Shai Hulud to the list though they're more Hardcore than Metal. Any band that names themselves after a creature from the Dune novels deserves a spot on some list of "Geekiest Bands"!

q124rqrqwr
q124rqrqwr

Coheed and Cambria aren't metal. At all.


What the fuck are they doing on this list.

shahircdj
shahircdj

I don't know how writing lyrics about history, fantasy, comics or politics is 'geeky'.

I suppose people would rather have lyrics such as 'yeah bitch, shake dat ass bitch, drink and party all night bitch' (yes, not only rapppers but many deathcore / metalcore bands have those lyrics)

Then in which case, I'm proud to be a 'geek' if I listen to these bands.

cincygraffiti
cincygraffiti

That would be because Zeppelin is not heavy metal.

Larzs
Larzs

You really want to include Demons and Wizards...when you already mentioned Blind Guardian and Iced Earth. That is pretty much the same band, seeing as it Hansi and John. And Hammerfell...eh.

johnvegan.geo
johnvegan.geo

Even though it's fine that the list cites bands like DragonForce, Wormed, and Dethklok...

1010011010
1010011010

@wolfradcimmerLeí este artículo y pensé lo mismo.  Nosotros norteamericanos podemos ser bien ignorantes cuando hacemos un esfuerzo.  Estoy de acuerdo - un poco más de educación no haría daño a nadie.

Hidalga_Erenas
Hidalga_Erenas

@wolfradcimmerHe pensado exactamente lo mismo que tú. Y me he activado una cuenta, únicamente para darle al "me gusta".
Un poco de cultura general, no le iría mal... además de descubrir que hay un mundo más allá de USA.

steiningermatt
steiningermatt

@vincentvalentine Never heard of them but now I'm gonna have to check them out, thanks. Adam is my brother and he said there were many bands that he wanted to put on the list but couldn't. Not sure if he knew that one. 

steiningermatt
steiningermatt

@getmeouttahereNever heard of them but now I'm gonna have to check them out, thanks. Adam is my brother and he said there were many bands that he wanted to put on the list but couldn't. Not sure if he knew that one. 

SagaciousPrime
SagaciousPrime

@shahircdj The writer said that the bands on the list may not identify as "geeky" themselves.  Rather, the list is comprised of bands that people who DO identify as geeks tend to appreciate the hell out of. 

pixie_princess50
pixie_princess50

@shahircdj  obviously you don't know the meaning of "geeky" because all those topics you talked about are considered "geeky" in American society. Geeky is also not a bad thing unless you look at it that way. They are talking more about gamer, Sci Fi, Fantasy, comic geeky not math wiz, get straight A's geeky....which would actually be referred to as nerd.

wolfradcimmer
wolfradcimmer

Comprendo que todos los países tienen su estereotipo y su tópico, y es hasta cierto modo divertido; pero por donde no paso es que este paleto nos insulte y diga en su artículo que en un país de toreros y fiesta no puede haber gente inteligente ni bandas de Metal respetables... pero qué se ha creído este imbécil???. Nadie en su sano juicio piensa que todos en USA son cowboys, ni todos los suecos llevan casco de vikingo con cuernos, ni tonterías así, pero parece ser que el paleto que ha escrito este "artículo" sabe muy bien lo que pasa en cada país sin haber salido de su agujero... Mira, nunca me han gustado las tonterías de lo 'políticamente correcto', pero lo que dice este ignorante no podía pasarlo por alto... LISTEN TO ME, ADAM STEININGER: YOU'RE A IGNORANT DUMB, FUCK YOU.
Un saludo para ti, 1010011010 y toda la buena gente de Denver, que seguro que es la gran mayoría.

mrm1138
mrm1138

@TenaciousB When Coheed (or whoever manages their social networking accounts) posted this to their Facebook page, they even admitted that they don't consider themselves to be metal. I'm definitely a Coheed fan, but they're hard rock at their heaviest.

mrm1138
mrm1138

@TenaciousB Being influenced by metal is not the same as being metal, though. Kurt Cobain stated in interviews that Abba was one of the bands that influenced his music, but I certainly wouldn't call Nirvana disco. If the members of Coheed don't consider their music to be metal, that's good enough for me.

TenaciousB
TenaciousB

@mrm1138 @TenaciousB ill say this again, you must not know what "metal" is then. If your a fan of coheed, enough to have read early interviews, youd know that claudio's and travis's most influencial band growing up and in their early days (shabootie) was iron maiden, now if you dont hear iron maiden in their early albums as coheed then you sir dont know true metal... they dont need to consider themselves to be metal to be metal influenced, but fact is that they are.

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