Ten more (un)likely signings for Cash Money

Categories: Lists

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Cash Money Records, the label founded by Bryan "Baby/Birdman" Williams in 1991, rose to prominence in the hip-hop scene with its signing of the Hot Boys, consisting of B.G., Young Turk, Lil' Wayne and Juvenile. Since then, the group has become one of rap's premier labels, having piggybacked Lil Wayne's meteoric rise to fame thanks to Wayne and Birdman's father-son-like relationship. The imprint recently made headlines with the head-scratching signings of Limp Bizkit and Paris Hilton (?!), which got us thinking: Who's next? Continue on for a list of ten (un)likely candidates to join Cash Money's roster.

See also:
- Cash Money signed Limp Bizkit last week. No, really.
- Fred Durst on Cash Money and being the same guy with backwards hat from 1999
- Lil Wayne's I Am Not a Human Being II: A track-by-track breakdown of every simile

10. Kevin Federline
Birdman: chronic hand-rubber. One look at the opening scenes of Kevin Federline's one and only single, "Lose Control," reveals that he, too, loves to rub his hands together. But this is not merely a gangstafied tick; how else do you think K-Fed and Birdman generate the heat to create such fire in the studio? These two titans of personality recognize habitual hand-rubbing as one of many characteristics of greatness, and for that reason, they are already soul mates.

9. Ja Rule
After signing fellow annoying-voiced, out-of-fashion rapper Mystikal, the next logical step (that is, following the path of absolute illogic) would be to sign the insufferable Ja Rule, if not for his ability to over-rely on sweet as saccharine duets, at least so that somebody on the imprint will have a more embarrassing beef record than Lil Wayne.

8. Dylan
Who are the five best rappers of all time? Think about it. Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan and Dylan. Because he spits hot fire. He's not simply a Chappelle's Show character, and he sure as hell isn't a sugar cookie getter. He's still making music today and is a self-described free agent. Birdman would be wise to sign him before he goes off the market.

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