The ten horniest metal bands
Getting laid is one of the perks of the trade. Guys form bands with the sole goal of getting their bananas peeled. Most metal dudes are satisfied with groupies every night, but some just can't get enough of the jiggly bits and the furry monsters, so they end up singing about sex on top of that. That's what these ten horniest metal bands are about. Just try to contain yourself while unclothing this list with your eyes, and then go get your freak on.
Tool, as in big dick. Tool, as in their first band logo of a wrench shaped penis with two holes instead of one at the bottom, and a helmet shaped end. As a band, Tool is more about anti-censorship than sex, but the band has used sexual content to protest censorship. The video for "Hush," for instance, features a very naked band with a 'Parental Advisory Explicit Parts' sign over their junk, making a humorous stance against 'Parental Advisory' stickers on albums. The song "Stinkfist" is definitely open for artistic interpretation like all other Tool songs, but its message is delivered through sexual metaphors -- quite possibly about overstimulation of sex in our society, which could lead to more perverse acts.
9. Bullet for My Valentine
If Bullet for My Valentine sings, "Whoa ohh ohh" -- or any variation of 'whoa' and 'oh' -- one more time, even their groupies are going to start saying, "Whoa, no." Despite the rehashing of lyrics, the band does have plenty of sexual substance to appease even the horniest horn dog. In "Fever," the hotness of a female body has taken over frontman Matt Tuck, and he loses control of his body temperature because she's smokin', radiating with the lyrics, "Keep on those high heel shoes, rip off all your clothes/You smell so fucking good, it makes me lose control!" He's got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell -- and a roll in the hay.
8. Mötley Crüe
Yes, there is an endless list of hair metal bands that sing about sex, but Mötley Crüe was one of the hornier glam metal bands with a wild side. What else would you expect from a band with two sets of umlaut ball sacks in its name? With songs like "Slice of Your Pie," "Rattlesnake Shake," "Sticky Sweet" and "She Goes Down," it would be hard to argue that these guys were singing about long term relationship sex with one woman. Mötley Crüe's first video of "Girls, Girls, Girls" was banned due to uncensored nude strippers, and just in case they seemed vague, the lyrics are about the band's enthusiasm to see strippers get naked. "Girls, girls, girls/Long legs and burgundy lips/Girls, girls, girls/Dancin' down on the Sunset Strip."
7. Steel Panther
With much more hair and glam than metal -- much, much more -- and a good deal of tongue-in-cheek, Steel Panther will rock your world with its ultra sex lifestyle that could wow even the hardest hardcore metalhead. Albums like Hole Patrol, Feel the Steel and Balls Out don't need their connotation spelled out; they are albums that were erected with their super sexiness and held together with lots of hairspray. There are so many examples of sexual content in the band's discography, that just one dose from the song "Supersonic Sex Machine" will arouse sexual overload: "I'm the cyber-slutty sex bot made of steel/I am programmed to make all the bitches squeal/I've got gluteus of aluminum and circuit board abs/I'm impervious to hackers, Chlamydia and crabs."