The ten biggest arguments in metal
Along with booze and a bowl, a metalhead's favorite pastime is arguing about all things metal -- the who, what, where, when, why and how something is the best of the best. These arguments typically end with broken teeth, bloody noses, fat lips and a cold can of beer on a swollen eye. Ready to grapple? Keep reading for the ten biggest arguments in metal.
10. Guitar vs. Drums
The drummer is the metronome of the band, while the guitarist takes the metal to a higher level. The first point made is that without the drummer, the other musicians in the band couldn't keep the right time. Then a swift blow back is that without a ferocious guitar, the whole genre wouldn't exist. Even if you've never had this argument before, drummers will pounce back saying that guitarists are a dime a dozen and drummers are more in demand. Guitarist counter with: Epic guitar solos are more prevalent than a sad repetitious drum beat. Then a friend steps in saying they are equally as important, so shut up!
9. Heavy Metal vs. Nu Metal
If you hate on nu metal, nu metal fans will give you shit for being an old fuck with a saggy ball sack who doesn't like anything metal past 1990. Heavy metal fans are firm in their metal beliefs, as purists of metal don't even consider nu metal a derivative of metal. To heavy metallers, nu metal appeals to the masses with a more watered down sound, along with a sad whine which appeals to teenagers who take up most record sales. Nu metal devotees are adamant that heavy metal is too pissed the fuck off, while traditional heavy metal fans think nu metal fuckheads are pussies.
8. Thrash Metal vs. Death Metal
Thrash metal traditionalists always remind death metal brutes that their subgenre would've never come about without Slayer's Reign in Blood. Death metal brutes usually counter with the argument that just because it's first doesn't mean it's the best. I mean, a son can kick a father's ass once he grows up, right? Another counter is that thrash isn't as hardcore as death metal.
7. Dimebag vs. Slash
These guys were usually placed head to head because they were well-known at the same time. They both win when it comes to nicknames. With two of the best nicknames in metal, it's surprising the shredding skills argument doesn't end with who has the better name. But when pitting the two against each other there is always a never-ending argument that has fans of the two pulling on an overhand knot. There can also be a third indifferent person in this argument that thinks it is ridiculous to compare the two because they both have very different styles.