The ten best metal videos
Music videos are the artistic representation of a band's music, a visual extension of muscle from the shoulder to the fist, jarring a deeper emotion in your brain. If music videos were never created, who knows what would've happened? Well, actually a couple things are certain: We would have been spared the '80s full of hair-metal power-ballad pageantry, and also having to witness and endure the egregious corporatization of MTV. Then again, these ten awesome metal videos would never have existed. So, good with the bad and all that...
See also: The ten geekiest metal bands
10. The Dillinger Escape Plan - "When I Lost My Bet"
Shit's just fucked up here. What the hell is that thing attached to their mouths? Did they puke their intestines into their tongues somehow and then puke that out of their mouths? Hey, your tongue intestines are crooked -- you might want to straighten that. There ya go. A close up of a charred screaming mouth in between other demented shit gives the video a fine color, an excellent bouquet and a nutty, earthy flavor.
9. Dethklok - "I Ejaculate Fire"
The title of this song says it all. Need we say more? Yes, because we want to talk about ejaculation and fire, and ejaculating fire, and ejaculating fire in a frenzy of annihilation. At the end of the video, right when you think that Egyptian female mummy is going to come fire from her vagina, it's her nipples of fire that destroy the male mummy. A twist like this in a video makes The Sixth Sense look like a Police Academy movie.
8. Dio - "Holy Diver"
"Holy Diver" is a mini-epic fantasy before the epic Lord of the Rings trilogy unsheathed its sword for battle before the eyes of geeks with CGI and Ian McKellen as Gandalf. Come on! Dio is brandishing a sword while his vocals slash your ears with his Horn of Gondor Borimir-channeling power vocals. It doesn't get much better than that. And it doesn't get much more distinctively Dio than that. The only thing the video is missing is a dragon...no, two dragons...and a three-headed dragon belching massive fireballs.
7. Behemoth - "Lucifer"
There is no comparison when it comes to newer metal music videos: Behemoth videos just have a higher quality that matches their brutality, visually cascading blackened blood from the forehead down. Long gone are the low-quality cheesy metal videos that are treasured for this same reason. "Lucifer" has the production value of a big-budget short film and a horror-rich narrative dark enough to contaminate the souls of even Teletubbies.