The ten shittiest post-grunge bands
Britt Chester Nickelback's on this list? No way, dude! Way, dude.
In the wake of the showerless grunge exfoliation of the early '90s, a slew of post-grunge bands emerged with diluted ditties filled with watered-down lyrics, all seemingly revolving around suffering through romance. Based on the endless stream of crap these bands churned out, these test tube babies were clearly breastfed on Soylent Green. Keep reading for the ten shittiest post-grunge bands.
See also: The ten shittiest nu metal bands
Jumping on the grunge bandwagon a year before Cobain's death, Candlebox achieved radio hits like "You" and "Far Behind," spitting up new pop-filled grunge and turning up the agony of love lyrics to charm romantics. Along with signing with Madonna's label (Whaaat?!), this was new evidence that major labels were acting like girlfriends: making them get more professional day jobs in the mainstream, scrubbing the grunge away and sneaking Prozac into their morning coffee. This humdrum transformation was the height of the band's downhill career, sticking to the same skim milk formula, lacking any versatility and creativity when it came to songwriting.
9. Three Days Grace
A cultivator of radio-friendly music, Three Days Grace's sound is clearly a diluted swallow of post-grunge bands from the '90s, like little brothers following in big brother's footsteps. Trying to put on a front as an aggressive alternative rock band, they could at least beef up their songwriting with a stronger structure, lyrics that don't immediately go out the other ear and riffs that don't sound like their last song -- and the song before that, and the song before that.
8. 3 Doors Down
3 Doors Down is a step away from a Taylor Swift country-pop rope burn. The band holds itself back from roping in authenticity with its sound, churning out three chord riffs, Matchbox Twenty vocals and songs you forget by the next song. "Kryptonite" was one of those songs radio stations couldn't stop playing, and if you've already unintentionally heard it a million times, you've already reached the peak of this band who has only focused on snagging hit singles instead of creating quality albums.
7. Finger Eleven
With eleven fingers you'd think Finger Eleven would shred a better guitar instead of sounding like they play with one finger. This band took post-grunge on a wrong turn down to an unrecognizable stripped quarry sound of pop rock. What kind of music is "Paralyzer" (the video above)? Dance pop/rock pumping off of the same vein of Kiss's disco rock? It's a song leads you to the dance floor with two left feet and eleven fingers, but kicks you back out with clashing cheesy pick-up line lyrics: "Well, I'm not paralyzed/But I seem to be struck by you/I want to make you move/Because you're standing still." Bleck!