Now that 2013's in the books, a wishlist for 2014: A full-on OutKast reunion and no more J. Cole

Categories: Commentary

In his new column, award-winning goofball Shea Serrano, whose recent exploits include Bun B's Rapper Coloring and Activity Book, writes about his life and times.

Jason Stoff
Ah, yes, is that a full OutKast reunion I see on the horizon?

Oh, man, 2013, so you're officially over. That's kind of sad. You were mostly a very dope year -- at least for me, anyway, and truth be told, that's all I really care about, because I am selfish, and I guess I'm sorry about that. I'll try to be more empathetic in 2014. (The 2014 Empathy Campaign will be largely unsuccessful; of this I am sure.)

See also: A Kanye West Quiz with funny illustrated clues!

So, 2013, do you remember Chance the Rapper's Acid Rap? That was such a great tape. It might've been the best tape of you, depending on when you happen to ask me. I watched Chance perform live twice. He was super-entertaining. I like him a lot.

Actually, I just saw that he's on the cover of the new Source. That's so wonderful. He seems so nice. I wonder how he felt about the picture they used, though. It kind of made me wish that someone sometime a while back had invented shoes for eyeballs, because when my eyeballs saw the cover they jumped out of my skull and ran right the fuck down the block. I didn't like it that much.

OOOOh, also, do you remember Tyler's Wolf? That album was extra-player, too. I was really surprised at how few people and places listed it on their Best Rap Album lists. I'm a big fan of Tyler. I don't care much for the criticisms aimed at his personality (or persona -- whatever). I don't know who it was who said that art needn't be moral, but that's a dude I agree with.

I suppose that's why I DL'ed R. Kelly's album the instant it came out -- though if you don't mind, I'd like to gloss right over the defiling of my spirit no doubt triggered by my enjoyment of the music of a man who has so very clearly destroyed the lives of numerous young women. Sorry for that, 2013. Sorry to you, too, God, and to my mom, and to all women and all men, probably. :/

Oh, also, bro, 2013, if it's not too much of a hassle, could you do a few things for me in 2014? Could you please:

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Hahaha that J.Cole album was really good. I can't take your articles serious anymore.

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