Crack is wack: The ten best musical motivational messages from 1980s and 1990s
Remember back in the day when you got home from school all psyched to watch some sweet, violent cartoons only to find that the dreaded After School Special? Buzz kill. It was even more of a bummer when our musical heroes took it upon themselves in the '80s and '90s to urge us all to lay off the reefer, stay in school, and practice safe sex. C'mon, Dr. Dre! We knew damn well you smoked weed!
10. NWA - "Express Yourself"
"I don't smoke weed or sess, cause it's known to give a brother brain damage. And brain damage on the mic don't manage nothin' but makin' a sucker and you equal. Don't be another sequel." says 1988 Dr. Dre. Wait, wait wait. Does smoking weed make you a sucker, or does it make you one of the best-selling hip-hop artists of all time? Cause The Chronic-era Dr. Dre who was "smelling like Indo-nesia" four years later probably thinks smoking weed is pretty okay.
9. MC Shy-D - "Paula's On Crack"
In "Paula's on Crack," MC Shy-D tells us the story of a lovely young girl who becomes a "well-known ho; a real good slut" because she's "on the crack attack." Okay, listen: Crack is most certainly no laughing matter -- especially in 1980s New York. But somehow MC Shy-D's plaintive insistence that Paula's "too damn fine to be on that crack" just isn't cutting it. Pro-tip: Maybe don't have your main argument against crack be that it ruins all the good T&A.
8. Kid N Play - "Get it Right"
Okay, granted, this is from Class Act, a movie, we might add, wherein Pauly Shore is improbably hosting a school dance (?) in which local New Jack Swing acts are performing. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. The point is that in the Kid-N-Play universe, cool stoner Pauly Shore takes the stage to sing a song and is immediately booed off by a restless crowd. When Kid-N-Play jump up to save the day, Super Nerd Deluxe Kid is rapping lines like "High school doesn't mean you gotta get high. A strong mentality will reach the sky, a weak mind only wants to get by." And the masses are eating it up. Sure. Okay.
7. Run-DMC - "Pause"
This video is pretty effective, because it opens with the most obnoxious, whiny pimp/drug dealer caricatures you ever saw, and then Supreme Badasses D.M.C. busts out of a building wearing gold chains and a fedora telling you to "pause" before you smoke crack. I'll pretty much do whatever this dude says at this point.