Country music's ten biggest douchebags

Categories: Commentary

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The White House
Guess who's back?
Mainstream country music gets an unfair rap as being universally over-polished and formulaic, a notion that artists like Kacey Musgraves and Eric Church obliterate every time they strap on their guitars. But there's a granule of truth to the stereotype, and a particularly damaging subgenre -- known as "bro-country" -- is lending it far too much credibility right now. In light of a certain artist occasionally known as Chris Gaines' announcement this morning about his impending announcement, we thought we'd take the chance to call out the worst offenders.

Booze, chicks, jacked-up pickups, extreme redneck sports, spring break -- artists like Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line and even Blake Shelton are leaning way too heavily on such themes in their music these days, and the entire trope can be summed up in one word: douchey. Yet bro-country isn't the only brand of 'baggery currently afflicting Nashville. No, douchebags are a diverse lot, and here are the ten biggest 'bags currently cranking out (s)hits in Music City today:

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Courtesy of the label
Toby Keith
10. Toby Keith
Drinking has long been fertile fodder for country songs. But for Keith, who has devoted entire concept albums to the topic, it's too often the only fodder. His lyrical over-reliance on the bottle is at least partially responsible for spawning bro-country, and Keith also bears a heavy burden for souring the Dixie Chicks on country radio (and vice versa), a setback from which Nashville's female insurgency is only now recovering.

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Courtesy of the label
Charles Kelley

9. Charles Kelley
He seems like a sweet, goofy guy, but sounds like supremo-'bag Michael Bolton, and is in a trio with "Lady" in its name. There's no place for the sort of soft-rock sheen Kelley brings to twang's table; it's high time Hillary Scott ditched the dudes and made Lady Antebellum all about the Lady.

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Ram Country
Dan + Shay

8. Dan + Shay
This douchey duo is managed by Belieber in Chief Scooter Braun. That's the only argument we need.

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Courtesy of the label
Chris Gaines/Garth Brooks

7. Garth Brooks
Brooks admirably took a decade off in his prime to focus on his family before what is sure to be a world tour announcement on Thursday, but we still can't get the Chris Gaines debacle out of our head, nor can we entirely dismiss it as the reason for Brooks' "retirement" in the first place.

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81 comments
Randy Gutierrez
Randy Gutierrez

You've already have done this one and it was just as dumb then. Lame

Matthew Nelson
Matthew Nelson

why are westword's posts more often negative than not?

Norm Pyle
Norm Pyle

You guys should quit posting this drivel.

Scott White
Scott White

..." Drinking has long been fertile fodder for country songs. But for Keith, who has devoted entire concept albums to the topic, it's too often the only fodder."... This song proves that mike seely is indeed clueless. (note - it was the most played song on country radio of the 1990s) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIq1LvzSLsk

brendalott55
brendalott55

Westword is not what it once was.  The WW reader of even five years ago would not have given a glance to an article about Country anything.  

Benjamin Wilson
Benjamin Wilson

my father use to work for Garth, can confirm hes a super DOUCHE

Jeremy Wolf
Jeremy Wolf

Ridiculous article... You're a douchebag.

Sammy River
Sammy River

It would have been 12 but we kept you and your boyfriend off the list.

Sammy River
Sammy River

Whoever posted this I bet you wont say it to his face....cowards.

Aly Sanguily
Aly Sanguily

Douchebags calling out douchebags? Also, you've already posted this days ago, old "news."

Emm Deeze
Emm Deeze

How many times are you going to post the same dumb article?

Luke Escool
Luke Escool

Don't you have to be a douche to be a country music "artist"?? I hate that redneck hootin and hollerin.

Lora McCabe
Lora McCabe

What absolutely stupid and moronic reasons to claim someone is a douche bag just because of what they sing about or what their label makes them sing about give us a reason as to why they are as a person considered douche bags not just what they sing about you Douche Bag

Matt Hector
Matt Hector

Please stop publishing music "lists" written by Mike Seely. That guy is a complete idiot when it comes to musical taste/knowledge.

muhutdafuga
muhutdafuga topcommenter

Hell:  Going to a concert by one of the mentioned "artists" that never ended that I couldn't leave.

David Paul DeMusis
David Paul DeMusis

If you mean the pop-tart pseudo country (like many of the ones listed in this article) they play on the radio, unfortunately yes, a lot of people. However.. for real deal, authentic country, americana, you have to dig deep. Sirius #60 "Outlaw" country is a great place to start.

George White
George White

Do people even listen to country music any more?

George White
George White

Nah. Almost, but not quite. Toby's douchebag status remains.

George White
George White

I'm glad they at least gave a shout out to Keith Urban, the queen of douchebag with his pretty hairs and wretched voice.

Eric Reed
Eric Reed

Horrible article. Just reemphasizes the lack of journalistic integrity in journalism these days. Journalism in whatever form should present the facts and let the reader decide. Just because Luke Bryan, Toby Keith, and Kenny Chesney have found a niche in country music that makes them a lot of money that doesn't mean they are douchebags, it means they have found a measure of success. I don't care for Rascal Flats because their music is LA pop with a steel guitar and they call it country. Taylor Swift needs to mature and write less about teenage angst, but there is no denying that they don't have talent because they do. As long as this writer continues to spew out bitter diatribes in a rag like Westword, and refuses to temper his obvious liberal views in a conservative venue like country music, then he is no better than Natalie Maynes and deserves the same treatment that the Dixie Chix brought upon themselves.

Bradford Ashington
Bradford Ashington

Booze, pickup trucks, loose women/men, breakups, and more booze: American shit-kicker music in a nutshell. You're welcome.

Bradford Ashington
Bradford Ashington

BTW, the armed forces, itself, is loaded with largely ill-educated, unintelligible moronic douchebags from various backgrounds, so it's no surprise other douchebags would perform for them. Derp

Bradford Ashington
Bradford Ashington

Carlos Mencia also performed on the USO circuit but I don't see anyone else who stopped referring to him as a douchebag because of it.

undercovertone
undercovertone

 Icant not call myself a true country fan but I have recently had a ear to it now I was also expecting to hear cases of misbehaving racism or other type of  behavior that "famous" people can be guilty of but this article is close to giving the title of douche baggs to these poeople for not tipping in las vegas last week while hung over aftera show maybe the author is guilty of being a douche because country and rap came togethere and some inner city people began liking the musicthe music. So now it sucks u should just play good ol 50s  country like a real man.

undercovertone
undercovertone

Icant not call myself a true country fan but I have recently had a ear to it now I was also expecting to hear cases of misbehaving racism or other type of  behavior that "famous" people can be guilty of but this article is close to giving the title of douche baggs to these poeople for not tipping in las vegas last week while hung over aftera show maybe the author is guilty of being a douche because country and rap came togethere and some inner city people began liking the musicthe music. So now it sucks u should just play good ol 50s  country like a real man.

Sheena ShiShi Marie
Sheena ShiShi Marie

Major dislike! These men are no douche bags do you even know what that word means?! They are great artists! Shame on you

sballardo672
sballardo672

Sooo, no actual research went into this article; but rather, this is merely one persons opinions based on information that has absolutely nothing to do with the artists character or personality.  Someone is a douche because they have the same representation as Beiber?  Westword has become a hack rag.


David Fernstedt
David Fernstedt

This article is stupid...a total waste of time both fit the author and the readers. It is all based upon opinion and speculation. Additionally the author places the Dixie Chicks upon a pedestal that they better earned bit deserved. They disenfranchised their fans then claimed that the fans were violating their rights if free speech instead of recognizing that the fans were simply exercising their rights if free speech and freedom of choice by not buying their c/d"s and concert tickets.

stanley1
stanley1

Since Westword seems to be on a roll lately with "the biggest douchebags/worst.../dumbest...." lists, I can't wait for the "10 Most Unoriginal and Talentless Cliche Hipster Dipshit Bands Whose Nuts We Swing On But Won't Be Remembered In 6 Months" list. Oh wait....

Charles Herrera
Charles Herrera

I hardly take the word of a magazine that doesn't even like country music or understand it in anyway and also doesn't believe in anything it stands for.

Christine Clark Geerts
Christine Clark Geerts

This was obviously written by people who don't like or love country. Douchebags!

Deb Lavery Simpson
Deb Lavery Simpson

There was no dislike button so I posted this, You used the word "douchebag" you had to expect strong reactions, you got it wrong, to me this is not reporting, its only meant for shock value and it is not why I "Liked" your page.

stanley1
stanley1

What a tough guy. I bet your little pussy ass wouldn't have the stones to say it to someone's face, you little beta bitch.

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