The best things we overheard at the Gathering of the Juggalos 2014

Nate "Igor" Smith

Another Gathering of the Juggalos has come and gone, and with it thousands of face-painted, fun-loving freaks and misfits to and from the event's first year in Thornville, Ohio. While the move from the deep wilderness of Cave-In-Rock, Illinois, to this year's decidedly more inhabited location did make the experience seem less like being on another planet, there was still an overabundance of hilarious and strange things happening at all times.

Here are the best overheard quotations from the the 2014 edition of the Gathering of the Juggalos.

See also: Our complete coverage of the Gathering

mike-busey-gathering-with-group.jpg
Nate "Igor" Smith
Mike Busey, in the camouflage vest.
"Do you guys know who I am? I'm an ugly motherfucking piece of shit and I don't give a fuck. And I came here to party."

- Gary Busey's nephew Mike Busey, clad in a vest and armed with big teeth.

"I almost got lured into a gay acid orgy over shots of Fireball."

- A confused soul who had stopped too long to talk to a man who was clearly out of his mind on drugs.

juggalo-bottlerocket.jpg
Nate "Igor" Smith
"If that bottle rocket gets near my dick I'm gonna be pissed."

- Large, safety-conscious juggalo wearing pinstriped overalls.

juggalos-direct.jpg
Nate "Igor" Smith
"I hope there's no pee in there."

- Juggalo sprayed by squirt gun.

"Sell you a knife for $30."

- Random skinny kid with baggy red mesh shorts.

See also: Ten reasons juggalos are better than you

"How many ya'll parents smoke weed? My momma still grows illegal weed in Alabama."

- Yelawolf

"At least you tried! At least you tried!"

- Chanted at female wrestler who had just lost a fight.

"Fuck her right in the pussy!"

- Shouted by everyone, all of the time, constantly. Juggalos have really latched onto that meme.

"Y'all wanna talk about politics, or you wanna see people get smashed in the face?"

- Wrestling announcer to crowd chanting down Obama.

"Our sexy little midget you may have seen on Hulk Hogan's Micro Championship Wrestling."

- Uttered by the Guy Fieri of juggalos, Mike Busey.

"I'm fucked up! Praise Jesus!"

- Shouted loudly from the woods.

"There's only one one-legged wrestler in the world."

- Announcer at Juggalo Wrestling Q & A.

wheel-of-misfortune.jpg
Nate "Igor" Smith
"Lick the lint out of somebody's belly button."

"Eat somebody's fingernails."

"Bring me a poop dollar. It don't gotta be your poop; there is poop all over these grounds. Go find some."

[After digging a hole in the mud with his heel and pouring beer into it.] "Chug the mud!"

"You don't gotta whip your dick out, just act like you do and then you and a friend walk up on people."

- All stated by a man named Frog, proprietor of "The Wheel." Frog would ask people if they wanted a beer as they passed by. If they said yes, they would be encouraged to spin the wheel, which lists a multitude of hilarious/disgusting potential outcomes. These are just a few of them. We hear even the police got in on the fun.

shoot-a-guy.jpg
Nate "Igor" Smith
"If you got in my face, I'd shoot you right here with the gun in my pocket. You wouldn't even see it coming. And then you know what I'd do? I'd drink a beer. And feel no emotion at all."

- A normal-looking 61-year-old man seated in a lawn chair in the parking lot. It was his seventh year at the Gathering, which he drives his son to and then waits in the lot. He has never once stepped foot inside.

juggalo-golf-cart-2014.jpg
Nate "Igor" Smith
"Stop! Stop!!"

- A police officer chasing a speeding golf cart. He didn't stop.

"I wanted to trip the cop. I mean fuck it; I got bail money."

- Juggalo who witnessed the police chase described above.

More quotations are on the next page.



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56 comments
Sarah Solomon
Sarah Solomon

Denim Demon, I'm pretty sure you're a factory default #RECALL!

Dan Morgione
Dan Morgione

Denim Demon from your pic it looks like you're the retarded faggot. Never mind the faggot you're definitely a virgin.

Dan Morgione
Dan Morgione

Don't worry Luke Arrants. It's obvious these people were never given hugs by their parents. Or ever touched by a female for that matter. They're bitter people.

Dan Morgione
Dan Morgione

Dude enough with the fuckin juggalos. Nobody gives a shit. Move on!

Joe Maldonado
Joe Maldonado

I don't get how this trend is still around the "music" if you wanna call it that is complete garbage

Toby Shaw
Toby Shaw

About to unfollow this news rag. Tired of all these goddamn ICP updates

Toby Shaw
Toby Shaw

What the hell is the deal with all the "Jokealoo" coverage you guys been doing? This festival was in Ohio even.

Steven M Palmer
Steven M Palmer

Irony: The fact that WW, the print media's champion of the "gay" lifestyle, posts so much about the ICP, a band that is decidedly anti-gay...

Clayton Capra
Clayton Capra

You read every one and memorize the names so that must mean you have no life too as well as being a stalker.

A.j. Chartier
A.j. Chartier

All you people, are full of hatred and ignorance. If you don't care, than don't read it! Problem solved! Instead you all chose to bitch and complain. SMH!

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

I dunno about the rest of you, but I read about Juggalos so I can feel better about my life. :)

Sarah Solomon
Sarah Solomon

And there you have it Denver, the ENTIRE Trailer Park Society & Incestuous Cousins of Colorado scraped fresh off the sidewalks of Colfax. Be proud!

Matityahu Rich
Matityahu Rich

Why?!?! Someone needs fired immediately! A juggalo article a day makes the viewership wither away.

Adam Aedro Drotar
Adam Aedro Drotar

Since when does Westword report real news. Smh. Is this your first visit to the internet?

Adam Aedro Drotar
Adam Aedro Drotar

It's funny you think Westword gives two shits what you think. They regurgitate the same shit all the time. But you butthurt taint munchers still comment your crybaby songs all day long. Go read your stolen buzzfeed articles and fave the cutest cat you see on chives "cat Saturday"... Geniuses

Nick Roseland
Nick Roseland

Westword, I now follow you solely for comic relief. For that I thank you.

Luke Arrants
Luke Arrants

Shayne Barrett I believe your first sentence was supposed to be a question. When I was in first-grade, I was taught that you should put a question mark at the end of a question. Perhaps you didn't make it that far in your education but it is never too late to learn, right?

Scott Lucas
Scott Lucas

For Fucks sake..... Fuck you Denver Westword

Ajay Raheja
Ajay Raheja

Shitty* articles* might want to spell correctly.

Peter Handler
Peter Handler

told you to stop! we mean business. everyone will stop following!

James Booker
James Booker

What the hell! Nobody cares about this crap! This is a fairly big and culturally diverse city, surely there's gotta be something better to write about! Give us a break already!

Virgil Dunn
Virgil Dunn

I'd wager that is the intent of WestTurd staff.

Steve At Work
Steve At Work

Goodbye Westword. Your obsession with the Jugalosers has become tiresome.

Brandon Craig
Brandon Craig

What the hell? You'd think that Denver Westword is a bunch of juggalos. Are they trolling us or what? As a whole, juggalos are a general cross-section of the worst parts of humanity. Why support and promote that? How is this news? C'mon Westword, you're supposed to be one of the most popular news sources in one of the best places to live in the country, and you're focusing your attention on the Gathering of the Juggalos in Bumfuck, OH? Shame shame.

Megan Munzert
Megan Munzert

dumb and dumberer in this feed...bunch of freaks.

Ryan Lusby
Ryan Lusby

They always do this! It is obvious they love Juggslos. Every year, two weeks of reporting daily!

Tim Hauger
Tim Hauger

It really is hilarious to see all of you little whining bitches complain about what you approve of or deem "follow-able" Hate what you don't know or understand. ICP hatred, the new racism. LOL I don't even listen to the shit, or care, but seeing all you fucktarded asshats comment on this shit is great.

Robert Hack
Robert Hack

You've beat this dead horse long enough; the maggots are already crawling out for fucks sake

Jeff Bordner
Jeff Bordner

I'm not a juggalo but damn, if you guys don't like the page then unlike the shit instead of bitching about it.

Scott Wittman
Scott Wittman

Denver Westword hangin by a thread on my FB feed. Who cares about Juggalos...or about pot, the subject of all your other lazy, brain cramped, stand-by stories...

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