The twenty best-dressed juggalos at the Gathering

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All photos by Nate "Igor" Smith

Juggalo fashion generally involves great big pants and T-shirts that were possibly purchased at truck stops. Hair is best when it is braided and aloft in the style of Coolio, and everything looks better coated in a thin layer of sticky-delicious Faygo, of course.

See also: Our complete coverage of the Gathering

But some juggalos go out of their way to trot out their hottest looks for the Gathering of the Juggalos, Here, then, are the twenty best-dressed juggalos at this year's big event.

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Legendary wrestler Mick Foley came to the Gathering wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sweatpants, slippers and a fanny pack. During his comedy set, one juggalo heckled him about the latter of those items, and then Foley choke-slammed him off a 40-foot steel cage.*

*May not have actually happened.

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This guy stood for an extended period of time, silent and on guard, right in the middle of a major pathway. His armor is not black, but I still completely expected a Monty Python-style "None Shall Pass" at any moment.

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Why yes, we did include this one twice, because DUH.

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Pretty sure this is the Predator in clown paint. They don't allow weapons in the venue and therefore no one was adequately armed enough to be a worthwhile hunt, so luckily nobody had to be killed.

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This woman actually bothered to wear pasties instead of (like most juggalettes here) just wandering around with nothing on top at all. Clearly this is a woman of sophistication.

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This handsome fellow is sporting a Grateful Dead bear, a Crass logo, two anarchy symbols and a Rancid patch on his studded denim jacket. Add the facepaint to that and this man successfully represents basically every underground subculture, all at once.

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I'm pretty sure this is one of those shitty government scientists from E.T., taking a break to hang out with his clown friends at the Whoopty Whoop Party in between enslaving and dissecting adorable aliens.

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This and "I Am A Gang Member Not A Juggalo" were the best Gathering-themed T-shirts we saw on the grounds.

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I'll be honest: This guy's gear looks good, but the main reason he is included is so that I have an excuse to publish a photo of a guy juggling a gigantic, floppy dildo.

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This guy's dildo, in fact -- the one in the bathrobe. File under "Obi-Wang Kenobi."

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It was cool of this Smoke Monster to make it out to the show. And he even wore a scary mask! How fun.

Story continues on the next page.


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43 comments
Clay Puppe
Clay Puppe

Enough with the Juggalos for the love of god... really about to unlike this page just so I don't have to see another one of these stories.

Jeremie Collins
Jeremie Collins

Stop..just fucking stop god damn you fuckwads this is enough

Robert Batton
Robert Batton

I'm done following westword. This shit is ludicrous.

Rob Jennings
Rob Jennings

This has turned from tragic to comical bordering on absurd and angering.

Ed Word
Ed Word

So, countless posts about an event 6 states away, only 3 about the Underground Music Showcase. One about the bands, one about the volunteers, one about how not to hit on chicks. How do you not see the problem? The title of this publication is DENVER WESTword. Why give ridiculous coverage to an event not in Denver, not in the West?

Peter Handler
Peter Handler

wow i never seen a rag like the westword hang so hard.from one group idiots nut sack!

Che Weller
Che Weller

Are you trying to get people to unfollow you!?

Naomi Osburn
Naomi Osburn

Srsly Westword... Are they paying you??? Are you getting Faygo outta this??

Jeff Cook
Jeff Cook

was this Westword '20 articles about white trash Juggalos' some sort of 'intellectual deprivation experiment'?

Jon Miller
Jon Miller

Juggalo stories are the new Candy Crush invite. I unliked Vice, Huff Post and now Westword just today for this unwanted garbage.

Frank Vasquez
Frank Vasquez

Was this in Colorado? I know soundgarden and nin played red rocks with hardly any coverage.

Stan Salazar
Stan Salazar

You guys are about to topple your record of bullshit "news" coverage with Juggalos. The record being held by your excessive Marijuana coverage.

Jeremy Coss
Jeremy Coss

I wonder what happened at the underground music showcase this weekend. Any awesome tattoos? Hot women? Talented musicians? Weird happenings?

A.j. Chartier
A.j. Chartier

You all call Juggalos lowlifes. Most have an education, jobs; and a family. Just like all you assholes bitching about a free newspaper. If you don't like it! Don't read it! It's a freaking music festival! It show's how judgmental some of you are. And it's ignorance at it's finest.

Lauren L T Taylor
Lauren L T Taylor

keep it going westword. the people getting outraged are hilarious!

Foster Wygant
Foster Wygant

Denver Westword, tons of people are Unliking you for focusing relentlessly on juggalos, losers, and really bad opinions by readers!!! This is your last chance for me.

Scott Lucas
Scott Lucas

I thought we talked about this Denver Westword..... Please STOP

Joe Cushing
Joe Cushing

- Just in case you forgot... news • n(y)o͞oz • noun noteworthy information, esp. about recent or important events

Rich Carollo
Rich Carollo

Maybe because they suck and real bands that actually come to town don't get 4 posts a day.

Robert Hack
Robert Hack

You motherfuckers. I was willing to turn a blind eye but this shit has gone beyond ridiculous. This wouldn't even pass for acceptable journalism at a Appalachian junior high. Unliked and Unfollowed.

Kaylee E. Moreno
Kaylee E. Moreno

But if it's shit you like you're okay right...sorry not everyone likes that same shit as you. Deal with it you're the one who hit the like button....God get over yourselves I'm not a fan but I won't dis people for what they like.to each their own.

Virgil Dunn
Virgil Dunn

"The more you resist, the more I persist!"

Tim Hauger
Tim Hauger

Again, morons, pop culture music festival. Dont like it? Go fist ur sister.

Robbie Ratay
Robbie Ratay

Omfg!! Who cares about those dirty fuckers

Kendall Young
Kendall Young

The first 5 were funny. This thing wasn't even held in CO. I too am tired of it. But I now think there's some juggalos hidden in the westword staff

Quinn Mitchell
Quinn Mitchell

Oh come on! :D You don't find it odd that they've suddenly, out of the blue, started making all these Juggalo posts? I think they're conducting some kind of social experiment to determine how many Juggalo posts people can take before they start un-liking the page.

Renee Ortiz
Renee Ortiz

Aaaaaand I spoke too soon. Westward has zero credibility at this point.

Anna McPherson
Anna McPherson

If only there was as much local music news as there is this douchebaggery in my feed.

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