All illustrations by Noah Van Sciver
The Ogden. 3/1 (Denver)
This is for the guy with the long hair at the Griz show near the bar. I don't know who you are but the odor that was emitting from your hair was horrendous. I can't not even begin to explain how bad you smell. This wasn't just a few days without washing your hair, this was almost as if you straigtened your greasy locks with two hot, spoiled onions. It usually doesn't bother me if someone smells but the fact that your proceeded to whip your hair around like an idiot caused the smell to woft to three innocent bystanders (my friends and I). So I beg of you, please shower, shave or head, or do something to reduce the musty scent of your hair as that should be a crime against humanity.