Update 3/30/12: Photo of Nading-Presley Memorial Gym plaque added.

courtesy of Jonny Barber

Jonny Barber is troubled. Last week, the former Velvet Elvis, the Mile High City's expert Elvis channeler and resident Elvistorian received news that the building that used to house the Nading-Presley Memorial Gym, which The King generously helped build for the Denver Police Department, is purportedly about to become a Walgreens.

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Today's a historic day, in case you were wondering. Not only is it the 34th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death, but today will mark the day that the Velvet Elvis, one of the country's top Elvis "emulators," comes to rest as well. In honor of the occasion, we asked the Velvet Elvis himself, Jonny Barber, to list his favorite songs by the King. Turned out to be an arduous task.

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Since birthing Velvet Elvis on Elvis Presley's birthday in 2004, Jonny Barber has gone on to sing at both Graceland and Sun Studios, he's met members of The King's band, as well as Larry Geller, Elvis's hair stylist and spiritual adviser, and he's had the pleasure of hearing first hand stories about The King from people who knew him well.

Barber, who's been called an Elvis emulator instead of an impersonator, will do one last gig as the Velvet Elvis at Rock-a-Billies on Saturday, August 13, and then on Tuesday, August 16, the same day Presley died, Barber will put the Velvet Elvis persona to rest at mock funeral and candlelight vigil at Fairmount Cemetery.

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Surely you've heard the expression: "That's a heart attack waiting to happen"? While we're not inquiring enough to Google its origin, from the sounds of it, that phrase could very well have been coined to describe the Fool's Gold Loaf from the Colorado Mine Company that Elvis once flew to all the way to Denver in the middle of the night to eat on the tarmac at Stapleton Airport. The thing sounds absolutely freaking disgusting.

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Sellout.

On December 21, 1970, Elvis Presley sealed his fate as the first rock-and-roller who got too old and joined the Man. The White House meeting between the King and Richard Nixon was the former's idea -- he'd written a six-page letter proposing the visit and asking to be made a Federal Agent-At-Large in the Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs. More incriminating photo evidence below.

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Today is the anniversary of Elvis's death in 1977, and last week, an auction of possibly the most gruesome memorabilia of all time was planned to capitalize on the King's untimely demise. The very same autopsy/embalming tools used to prep the King's final appearance, plus the toe tag identifying him, were going up for sale* and expected to fetch around $15K. And it got us wondering: What other grisly celebrity death souvenirs can the enterprising ghoul track down for his personal collection?

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Alright, now this is a frightening proposition, just utterly frightening -- and mind you, this is coming from a guy who files taxes each year with somebody who actually has Elvis's visage tattooed on her person. I, perhaps more than most people, have a firm grasp on maniacal, inexplicable fanaticism, especially when it comes to Elvis -- and even I'm completely dumbfounded by this absolutely staggering offering. Just dumbfounded.

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Elvis is 75 today. Er, he would be, rather, if he wasn't, like, you know, dead and stuff. Things like this tend not to escape your attention, especially when you live with an Elvis fanatic (having Elvis's image permanently etched on your flesh does qualify you as a fanatic, right?) who circles the date on her commemorative Elvis calendar each year.

This year, we're planning to mark the occasion by heading over to the Oriental Theater, where they're throwing a big old birthday bash for The King. He won't be there, obviously, seeing as how he's no longer breathing and whatnot, but the Velvet Elvis will be in the house, and that's the next best thing to seeing The King himself in the flesh, don't you know?

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