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When they use the “cow town” descriptor, what most folks mean is podunk, provincial, lacking in the sort of taste and culture found in the big cities on the coasts. They’re saying that while we, the people of Denver, may be urbane enough to understand that going out for a fine meal is a cause for dressing up, our idea of sartorial rectitude is pulling on our best pair of overalls and knocking the cow shit off our boots before stepping into civilized company.

I, on the other hand, will quite deliberately track manure on the carpets of the swells, but when I say that Denver is a cow town, I mean it in the best possible way. I’m saying that here in this town, we know a thing or two about cows -- and one of those things is that the highest calling to which any bovine might aspire is being turned into a really good steak. Denver is a cow town because we eat more of them than almost any city in America.

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I asked the Mexican what he wanted to eat during his visit to Denver.

In addition to being the author of Ask a Mexican, a weekly column now published in 31 papers, Gustavo Arellano is the food editor at our sibling paper, OC Weekly, in Southern California. So finding the perfect lunch spot before his appearance at Belmar earlier this month took some thinking. At first, we thought taking the Mexican to eat what passes for Mexican food in this town might be the equivalent of taking coals to Newcastle (or vice versa), but Gustavo said he was eager to sample Colorado’s unique take on Mexican food.

So then we simply had to do was choose from the dozens of great Mexican restaurants in this city.

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There are essentially two kinds of restaurants: those run for the benefit of customers and those run as playgrounds for chefs. The Corner Office is unabashedly one of the former, and that “unabashedly”part is why it’s so successful. With no shame, no tongue-in-cheek, smirking irony, the bar will pour you a double whiskey while the kitchen lovingly plates up your requested bowl of Captain Crunch (with Crunchberries). Lemon edamame and fish tacos?

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In the Best of Denver 2007, Jason Sheehan named Ha Noi "The Best Taste of Hanoi," saying this: "If you're from Vietnam, this is comfort food. If you're not, it's a fantastic education in the less common flavors of Southeast Asia. Gelatinized duck's blood, fishscale mint, sawgrass and other, even less recognizable ingredients are pretty much par for the course at Ha Noi Pho, but you'll be amazed at how quickly a brave heart, a strong stomach and an adventurous palate can be made to feel right at home. Although service can be a bit standoffish, once you get the owners, cooks or servers talking, the place becomes as friendly as any other neighborhood joint -- whether in Denver or Hanoi."

This particular joint looked decidely less welcoming on November 14, however, when it became the site of a lunch-time shoot-out between a would-be robber and two plainclothes Denver police officers, who happened to be lunching there. Three diners were injured in the melee, and for a day, the restaurant was cordoned off by police tape.

But on Friday, it was business as usual at Ha Noi, which was back to serving up the town's Best Taste of Hanoi -- complete with gelatinized duck's blood. -- Patricia Calhoun

The new restaurant is small -- a shotgun storefront in the middle of the Highland Square action, surrounded by boutiques, bookstores, galleries and other restaurants, with seating for thirty, maybe, a small patio and a loud sound system that plays non-stop reggae that drifts out into the street and down the block. It’s an unassuming place. You could pass it a dozen times without even thinking of stopping in until the one afternoon when you’re feeling a little Bob Marley, a little oxtail-with butter-beans, and then suddenly you’ll hear “One Love” scratching at your ear, catch a fortunate breeze carrying the scent of charred pimento, the smoky-sweet and peppery odor of jerk blackening on a grill and, next thing you know, you’re three pints of rum punch to the wind, your pockets stuffed with fried shrimp jacketed in a stinging Scotch Bonnet batter, demanding Jamaican beef patties for dessert from the tattooed waitress working the floor.

Or maybe that’s just me…

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When I was talking with Tom Ryan for my review of Smashburger, he told me that Icon Burger -- the classic burger joint at 2755 Dagny Way in Lafayette that was the first burger property picked up by Cervantes Capital — will soon be shut down and turned into a Smashburger as well.

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Across from me, a man is talking movies with his obviously hung-over, obviously completely disinterested girlfriend. He’s talking almost exclusively about the oeuvre of John Cusack -- from his early work with Savage Steve Holland (whom this man incorrectly identifies as John Hughes) to his later work in movies like Being John Malkovich (which this man incorrectly claims was directed by Jim Jarmusch) and Adaptation (which John Cusack wasn’t in at all). He will not shut up about John Cusack. He is on didactic autopilot. And behind him, there’s a girl -- eyes rimmed with smeared kohl, glitter paint sifting off like fairy excema -- whose cell phone rings every thirty seconds as she rants, “I fucking told her I’d fucking be fucking home last night, and now she fucking can’t stop calling? I’m not fucking picking that motherfucker up.”

It’s just another day at Mama’s Café – the destination of last resort for many of Denver’s more colorful night creatures, a morning-after option for those still standing when the sun comes up. Steak and eggs, black coffee and pie, pancakes all around – this 2001 East Colfax address has a long history as a 24/7 institution, having been an IHOP for years (and a radioactive Superfund site!), then a Southern-fried version of Mama’s, then this American three-a-day. Though the food is certainly lacking, the company never is. And one thing is certain: Mama’s has never been dull.

Also on tap in the upcoming issue: a revisit to Tom’s Diner, my favorite all-night stop, and a very funny story about my 3 a.m. discovery of a famous local chef doing infomercials! It’s another busy week in Hotcakesland. Come back Wednesday for full details. – Jason Sheehan