How to survive Casa Bonita, the world's weirdest Mexican restaurant

Categories: Cafe Society

3) Don't go for the fried ice cream. This is where they get you. Right after you've ordered your taco salad, the server will undoubtedly ask, "Would you like fried ice cream with that?" And that's just not fair. Any time someone asks you to partake in something that involves ice cream and deep-frying, the innate human response is to heartily acquiesce. We can't help it; the response involves the same part of our reptilian brain that takes over whenever we hear the words "open" and "bar" in the same sentence. But fight this urge you must, because already waiting for you at the end of your lousy meal is the dessert to end all desserts - something even better than fried ice cream: Casa Bonita's sopapillas. You have to wonder how these powdery pillows of goodness could come from the same kitchen that manages to screw up cheese quesadillas. And did we mention they're free? In other words, the fried ice cream is for suckers.

2) Order the taco salad. As everyone knows, you don't go to Casa Bonita for the food -- and that's even if you ignore all those rumors about piles of empty cat food cans in the kitchen. Unfortunately, they make you order a full meal to get in the door, but it's best to just write that off as the admission fee. A good strategy is to not eat any of your $12 meal and make sure you have at least $12 worth of fun while you're there (or make sure you have $8 worth of fun and eat at least $4 worth of sopapillas). Or, if you really need some sustenance, take it from us and order the taco salad. Unlike every other option on the menu, the "mystery meat" with this entree comes on the side, so you can eat your salad without wondering too much about cat food. Sure, it's the worst taco salad you will ever eat, but finding a way to make a taco salad this bad is sort of an achievement in itself, and we're all about giving credit where credit is due.

1) Do your research. There's no way to fully prepare for the sensory-overload experience that is Casa Bonita, but a good first step would be to watch Trey Parker and Matt Stone's South Park documentary about the place. We're using the term "documentary" because while every other South Park episode features bizarre characters and outlandish scenarios, the actual Casa Bonita is so ridiculous they just slapped it into the show looking exactly how it looks in real life. We're also pretty sure children really have been willing to kill others for a chance to go to the restaurant, so Cartman's attempt to kill Butters so he can take his place at a party there is completely factual. And finally, just like Cartman, chances are you will end up running around Casa Bonita like a crack addict, all the while singing the song, "Casa Bonita! Casa Bonita! Food and fun in a festive atmosphere!"


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168 comments
Anthony Shaeffer
Anthony Shaeffer

Whoever wrote this article is a complete idiot. Worst food ever and spells of old gym lockers. Food comes out like your in prison. I'll never go back a 2nd time.

Phyllis Greenhouse
Phyllis Greenhouse

i ate ar casa bonita once and was never so sick in my life! DYuk!

Patti Huffman
Patti Huffman

Casa Bonita--If you crave the smell of Alpo Dog Food, Dine with Us. Cool venue, crappy food.

Julie Cool
Julie Cool

The last time I ate there, a cochroach ran across our table. My entire family saw it! Need I say more?

Laura Duque
Laura Duque

Bianca Steven Tiffany Alton Damien Kevin Jessica Isaac

Judy Kirkham-Beville
Judy Kirkham-Beville

You pay for the food and drink, and dump it all in the garbage, if you're smart.

David Durant
David Durant

I have eaten at this restaurant several times of the last 15 or 20 years. The sirts time was lots of fun...the divers put on a great show...the food was not so note-worthy. It kinda got to be a little tacky the last couple of times I visited Denver...actually surprised it's still around.

Jonathan Steele
Jonathan Steele

A correction to a detail in this article: Cartman did not try to kill Butters, he simply hid him in Carl's bomb shelter & told him that the world was overrun by zombies and he was mankind's last hope. ( just saw the episode last week)

Matthew Nelson
Matthew Nelson

i went for the first time last wednesday after walking 7 miles and sat down by the waterfall to a skit between two people with cowboy hats on who couldn't decide whether to shoot each other or kiss

Liz Lemonds
Liz Lemonds

It's really hard to articulate just how bad, how really really bad, the food is there.

Dylan DeSpain
Dylan DeSpain

I think it's a underground tunnel for the cartel... And Casa Bonita Is a store front.

Bill Watson
Bill Watson

Christ - just burn it to the ground already.

Lindsey Scott
Lindsey Scott

Take your pesto bismuth before you eat. It'll help later.

Steve Simmons
Steve Simmons

I applied for a job there as the gorilla after they turned me down as one of the cliff divers. Never did hear back from them... Hmmm

Chris Bailey
Chris Bailey

They would pull so much more money if they had decent food. How hard could Mexican food be?

Cassandra Gutierrez
Cassandra Gutierrez

A group from New York bought the strip mall they plan on changing what is there but they are leaving casa bonita there

Chris Heller
Chris Heller

I went for the first time in 75 and again in 91 so i suppose I need to pay a visit sometime in this century. I survived it twice.

podunkboy
podunkboy

so, that's great, a 4-year-old blog post and no mention of the changes at the strip mall...well done job, once again, WestWord...

Nina Rossi
Nina Rossi

Lived here my whole life, and I still never been there!!

Travis Wilson
Travis Wilson

Desiree Coscia, we should have a fun night at casa bonita sometime!!! :)

Nathan Embree
Nathan Embree

Uhm...read the whole article, and it says not one word about changes at the strip mall.

Seth Schurman
Seth Schurman

After they hand you your prison tray, you get to watch your slop dispense through a hole in the wall by a sweet old lady

Doug Hubka
Doug Hubka

Isn't this just a rehash of a previous bit from Westword

Sean Hamilton
Sean Hamilton

There's only one thing you need to know....DON'T GO!!!

Jim Mayes
Jim Mayes

Sopapillas are the best!........i don't know if that's how you spell sopapillas

kjprovince
kjprovince

well the article is about Casa Bonita, not the strip mall... 


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