Candy Girls: Bologna Bubble Gum

Categories: Sugar High
bologna bubble gum.jpg
Liz Kellermeyer
This hardly needs a review, does it?

There are just so many perplexing aspects to this item. Is there a demand for lunchmeat-shaped gum?  Where, exactly, is this Department of Bubble Gum headquartered?  Was this really a byproduct of another gum treat gone awry, or did someone specifically set out to make bologna bubble gum?
 
We found this particular package at the Walgreens at 120 Broadway, nestled below the gummy hamburgers and next to a package of hot dog gum.  Of course, we could not resist.  Some internet searching tells us the gum debuted in 2007, with the catchy phrase "Blow Your Lunch!" sprawled across the front.  Removing this line was a smart move as far as we're concerned, moving the product from the "edible snot" category into the "what the what?!" category.  And without the added information that the gum is fruit-flavored, the customer is left in a world where the gum could conceivably be bologna-flavored.  Excellent.

Bologna gum slices.jpg
Liz Kellermeyer
For better or for worse, this is primarily a treat to be enjoyed by the eyes.  The mouth...not so much.  We bit in expecting the standard pink bubble gum show: a little brittle and chalky, super sweet quickly giving way to flavorless blob.  However, the powder covering the bologna gum (the ingredients list contains corn starch and talcum powder) is oddly bitter.  The gum itself is more tangy than you'd expect, but the bitterness persists long after we thought it should have dissolved into the nothing flavor of real bubble gum.  To whom do you report failings in the Department of Bubble Gum?
 
Would we finish the package?  So much bitter bologna bubble gum....
Would we buy again?  It's too funny to resist!  Will probably make guest appearances in future gift bags and prize packages.
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
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