Ten ways you can improve your server's life (and your service)
The New York Times blog "You're the Boss," ruffled the apron strings of restaurant servers nationwide when it ran Bruce Buschel's two-part list of things restaurant staffers should never do. As someone who worked the FOH for 14 years, I have two words for Buschel:
Mark Manger
Bitch, please.
While Buschel made some decent points, his elitist tone reinforced the popular notion that servers are servants as opposed to facilitators. Good servers go out of their way to make the guest's dining experience exceptional -- but getting the recipe for every guest "that goes gaga over a particular dish," which is actually one of Buschel's suggestions, is ludicrous. Seriously, give me a break. Any server on the planet would rather slide down a five-foot razor blade into a pool of rubbing alcohol than ask the chef for their duck confit recipe during a Friday night push. That doesn't mean they give shitty service.
I have always believed in the peaceful coexistence between the server and the guest -- but like all functional relationships, this takes effort and communication. Regardless, being friendly and respectful toward the people who wait on you will greatly improve your dining experience. And who knows? You may get free scotch out of the deal. Here are some tips to help you make your server's life a little easier (remember, it's the season for giving):
10. Let the restaurant know in advance if you have special food needs.
I know it's a bizarre notion, but chefs actually want you to enjoy their food. And they definitely don't want it to kill you. If you have allergies (especially to commonly used ingredients like onions) or are a vegan, the kitchen will most likely prepare something for you that differentiates from the menu. If you call ahead of time, they will have the opportunity to plan something yummy for you instead of throwing a meal together at a moment's notice.
9. Don't bring in more people than your reservation holds.
When you're invited to a friend's house for dinner, you don't bring three guests without asking (at least I hope you don't). Don't do it at restaurants. This is the point of a reservation: to reserve space. Often times, adding people to your reservation requires a bigger table or more tables. If more room isn't available, you're putting the restaurant in an awkward position -- and you might go hungry.
8. Don't make the server referee your fight over the bill.
If you want to pay, give your credit card to your server when you arrive. Arguments over the bill after 47 glasses of wine are never pretty.
7. Read the menu before you ask for recommendations.
Don't try to hide the fact that you haven't looked at the menu by asking what your server recommends. It's totally cool that you wanted to slam your sidecar and whine about work before you looked at the menu. What isn't cool is when you ask for a recommendation without looking at the menu, and then say you hate pork when your server recommends it.
6. Don't repeat your order unless you are positive your server has forgotten something.
Servers take orders. Lots of them. Even after a shift shot or six, we're still pretty good at remembering stuff. Servers are not immune to caffeine either, and everyone has had nights when they couldn't sleep because of the accidental cup of java. When you order decaf, trust that your server will do everything short of growing the beans to ensure they bring you the unleaded. You don't have to repeat "decaf" four times, ask for their phone number in case you can't sleep, or grab their arm as they're pouring your coffee just to make sure they remembered.
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