Update: Last chance for Anthony Bourdain tickets

By Jason Sheehan Mon., Nov. 16 2009 at 1:58 PM

Categories: Sheehan (RIP)

INSERT CLEVER BONE-RELATED CAPTION HERE...

Yes, we've scored two more pairs of tickets to the Anthony Bourdain event that we've been so relentlessly hyping for the past several days -- and earlier today, we asked all you slavering readers to come up with interesting ways in which we might give them away. And since my suggestion of tying them to pigeon's feet and letting the fates determine the lucky winner was shot down, we have decided to go with that old stand-by: the caption contest.

Because commenter Brian was the first one to come up with this terribly original notion (and provided the photo), he wins one set of tickets. (Brian: e-mail your contact info to cafe@westword.com.) As for the rest of you, you know the drill: Best caption for the above picture wins the prize.

Could we have made it any easier? Post your entries below.

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Anthony Bourdain

EAT THIS BONE!
Lets Bone and Smoke!
Now thats a BONE!
This bone is sure to clean some vegetarian's colon. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Make no bones about it, Bourdain is a cut above the rest.
"...I was sitting in my living room, naked... I had a six foot erection with a giant cheese burger on the end of it." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl2NKZtl07c#t=0m15s I looked at the picture, and immediately a song pops into my head. "Asshole", by Dr. Denis Leary. This is appropriate for several reasons. Bourdain's "bone" in this case is rather large, alluding to the erection. The bone did belong to a cow, so at least another appendage is on it's way to becoming a burger. Dr. Denis Leary loves to smoke, as Mr. Bourdain does. I'm almost convinced they, for some reason, photoshopped out the cigarette in Anthony's left hand, the butt left in between his fingers and his hand in classic cigarette-holding pose. Lastly, when I first saw Anthony Bourdain on TV, I referred to him as the "asshole chef." The show featured Anthony working in his restaurant in New York, and he was being rude, loud, controlling and... well, himself. A few years later I caught "No Reservations", and was surprised at how this jerk would become happy and excited over something as simple as a durian fruit.
I know the contest is over now, but this is too much fun. "Tony seen here in Denver, holding his own..."
Ghana, Borneo, Balli... none of that prepared me for Colfax.
Bone in hand, Travel Channel host and Author Anthony Bourdain takes a moment and ponders," I heard Denver was a cow town, but I never knew they get down like this..."
Bone-in
Here's a few (I couldn't stop): What is the tip policy here? The vegetarian special. AB travels the globe to bring Denver what it needs. No shoes, no shirt, no problem. You're gonna have to work to get to the marrow. AB, the biggest man working in food porn today. Bourdain after visiting Rocky Mountain National Forest and seeing the buffalo. And finally, I'd rather go naked than eat vegan.
Ted Nugent put me up to this...
The marrow makes the meal b@#$h!
Hey Denver, was it good for you?
Travel channel host Tony Bourdain seen here wandering Colfax in a daze after Mayor Hickenlooper showed him "what Denver does best".
You know how to get at the marrow, right?!
You don't need a freaking Michelin rating to know what to do with this...
While in Denver for his meat and greet, Tony Bourdain trully had No Reservations.
I think he's gonna pork her, dad. He may pork her Russ, eat your breakfast
What, I thought Denver would be in to this sort of thing?
Hi i am Anthony Bonedain. It's a pleasure to meat you.
Tony Bourdain, advocate of food porn.
Oh, so this is what he ment by "Food Porn"..
Recently on a trip to Denver, Travel Channel host and Author Anthony Bourdain realized the Mile High city DID infact have something to offer: Colfax street food!
Recently on a trip to Denver, Travel Channel host and Author Anthony Bourdain realized the Mile High city DID infact have something to offer: Colfax street food!
Whatta you say Denver, just the tip?
Travel channel host, Tony Bourdain, seen here after his meat and greet in Denver.
Colfax street fare at it's finest!
While recently in Denver, on a tip from local food critic Jason Sheehan, seasoned traveler and food writer Anthony Bourdain was urged to explore Colfax for a "real" taste of the city. Subsequently, Mr. Bourdain was only able to escape bone in hand.
I got your bone in ribeye bloody right here
funseeker we all get it, you don't like Bourdain. Some of us don't share your opinion and repeating the same thing over and over again is not going to change our minds.
Make this simple: IGNORE the pompous, arrogant geezer!
Before he struck it big as an author, Bourdain also experimented with other moneymaking ventures. This is a promo shot from his (sadly failed) combination high-end butcher shop and Chippendales revue.
"What Would Ted Haggard Do?"
Anthony Bourdain: Chef. Writer. Host....Butcher.
This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun.
Anthony Bourday: Chef. Writer. Host.... Butcher.
My butcher and I are VERY close.
Don't forget to tip your butcher.
Don't forget to suck the marrow out, Denver.
It's only organic if you kill it yourself.
A genuine 'nasty bit.' (remembering that his book is called "The Nasty Bits")
"Where's the beef? Right here, baby."
Bourdain has a raw, bloody, cow leg up on the competition.
Bourdain: Bad to the bone.
At the top of the food chain, size DOES matter.
I like my meat rare . . . and bone-in
The best meat is always smoked . . . til you can taste the bone.
I'm not doing that!!
I'd smoke it, I just can't keep it lit...
Funseeker never should have tried to take him to Costco for pizza.
Man Vs Nude.
You want a piece o' THIS?
If you think THIS is weird, you should see his ass.
If you think THIS is weird, you should see his ass.
In no small terms, Anthony Bourdain has a bone to pick with Denver's food scene.
Anthony Bourdain singlehandedly turns the Internet vegan. OR These new PETA ads are weird.
Anthony Bourdain, food critic, author, and host of Travel Channel's No Reservations, HOLDS HIS OWN in New York last week during the "Nude Chef Soup Bone Cook Off" He took first place against some BIG names and STIFF competition.
While taking a drag on his cigarette, Bourdain contemplates what he's lost after meeting nathan at his show's meet and greet in Denver on Wednesday.
....In the dark alley's and dirty streets Bourdain travels naked to get to the heart of the Marrow...
I think it's Tony, so more along the lines of: "Hey Food Network suck my bone". It would probably be directed at a specific person at food network, but I'm just not as snarky as Tony.
This week on no reservations: Tony starts in Guarne, Columbia, consults a Shaman, enguages an Ayahuasco cocktail and ends up in Denver, realizing he left his bone on Colfax.
...to all the bones I've held before....
Bone in hand...Bourdain spotted protesting at PETA rally...
Eat THIS, Zimmern!
Bourdain....The OTHER White Meat!
Is that a bone in your pocket, Tony, or are you just happy to see me?
Bourdain's bone-in meat package served raw and revoling. Or: Bourdain says: Choke on this, vegetarians.
@JW.. that was funny. same kind of feeling i have for marcos pizza..we need beverages..
Here is your caption: This week on No Reservations Tony goes to Abu Ghraib Prison.
there once was a reviewer named sheehan. who wrapped his small bone in sheepskin. but once it was undone. he got Tonys big bum and now hes in snuggly in bed with a Bourdin..