Oh, baby! Pie porn (set to sultry music!), courtesy of some big hands at Marczyk Fine Foods

The market pimps, among other things, pies, which are a hot seller during the holidays, although Barb insists that a kick-ass pie isn't easy to come by. "Everyone loves pies, but -- and this is a big but -- it's hard as hell to find a good one. They're either too sweet, too full of fillers or just fake-tasting," she claims.

Enter Marczyk master baker John Hinman, whose manly hands can be seen massaging the dough in the pie porn video on the following page. "John uses an all-lard crust, and there are no cans of goopy filling being poured into the shells. It's all made from scratch, and the taste and texture are excellent," says Barb.

But while Himan's caresses are sexy in their own right, it's the music that really sets the tone.