Chef and Tell, part two: Table 6 exec chef Scott Parker on girl-on-girl topless bacon cookery

By Lori Midson Thu., Nov. 4 2010 at 9:09 AM

Categories: Chef and Tell, Midson: Gastronaughty

Continued from page 1

What show would you pitch to the Food Network? Girl-on-girl topless bacon cookery. Who cares what it would be about? It'd be a fluff piece. I'd watch.

Current Denver culinary genius: Jeff Cleary from Grateful Bread. He's a nut job (love you, buddy), but a genius with bread. There's a science and passion to breadmaking, and Jeff and his employees work their asses off, and it shows: The product sings all the time. In the five years we've used them, they've been consistently amazing. Everything is perfect.

You're making a pizza. What's on it? Robiola, pancetta, arugula and a fried egg.

Guiltiest food pleasure? I just don't feel bad about eating anything. I'm not wearing skinny jeans anytime soon, but I'm not going to be a blob, either, because I still want to sleep with my wife. Eating should not be about guilt.

You're at the market. What do you buy two of? Juice. I have two kids who drink a lot of juice, but I also love different types of juice and could drink it all day long.

Favorite Denver restaurant(s) other than your own: There are so many, and I don't want to leave anyone out...Fruition, Il Posto, Mizuna, the Gastro Cart, Steuben's, twelve, Masterpiece Deli. I've had excellent meals at these places every time, along with solid service. I just like to eat -- period -- and when people do it well, it's awesome. I still need to go to TAG. Troy got my daughter to eat squash at an off-site event, which was a miracle, so I know that TAG kicks ass.

Favorite celebrity chef: Emeril Lagasse. I don't like the "bam" thing, but he seems like a genuinely nice guy.

Celebrity chef who should shut up: I have no idea. I don't care about the celebrity-chef culture. It's impressive what they can do as far as being in front of a camera and appearing relaxed, because that kind of thing scares the shit out of me. But other than that, they're not important; they're just cooks who got a big break.

What's your favorite knife? Somebody else's knife: Mine are never sharp enough.

Hardest lesson you've learned: Remain calm and not lose my temper. A few years ago, a giant Romanian busboy couldn't run plates for the life of him, and I was screaming my head off because it baffled me. My cooks were holding me back because I was up in his face, but I didn't want to get my ass beaten by him -- or anyone else, for that matter. And at that moment, something clicked, and I decided it was time to calm down and relax. I still lose it from time to time, especially when I drop something, because I know it has to go to the trash -- and that pisses me off.

Last meal before you die: It would be more about the company than the food, but I'd want one of my wife's pies -- chocolate, banana cream or coconut.