Ten beers to stop drinking at age thirty

Categories: Booze News

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Cheap beer.

It's a libation that most of us down during our late teens and twenties. But like all childish things, there comes a time to banish these cheap cans and brands forever. We argued over which beers should and shouldn't be included on this list, but we eventually came to a consensus. Herewith, are top ten cheap beers to ditch when you reach the big 3-0.

Disclaimer: Eschewing these brews and then becoming a beer snob is perhaps the most reprehensible of acts. Just order your beer and drink it.

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10. Natural Light
There's a lot of resentment, bitterness and cringe-inducing memories related to the beers on the list, but in defense of Natural Light, it's mostly a watery beer that one can drink a good six of before really feeling good about himself. It's a beer to start off with if you're already involved in a good rotation of getting drunk every other day. And if you're getting drunk every other day and older than thirty, there are all kinds of twelve-step programs for you. This is not to say that you can't indulge in some Natty Light during company slow-pitch softball games, with friends while watching the NFL, or even in the back of the room during your son's Cub Scout meetings.
-- Nick Lucchesi

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Image Via Flickr
9. Stroh's
Stroh's was swill, pure swill -- and this was the opinion of a guy who liked Milwaukee's Best. The stuff tasted like it was mashed with gym shorts and "fire-brewed" in hell. But when the company came out with the thirty-pack (it may have been the first to do so, although I'm not positive), Stroh's gained the love of teenagers everywhere who could now take "thirty friends" to the party for the price of 24.
-- Jonathan Shikes

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8. Olympia
"It's the water" is printed on every can of this once-Northwestern brew that's often found at the bottom of the menu for around $2 or $3 at a bar. And I can speak from immediate experience (last night), that you can drink Olympia all night and not feel too incredibly hungover the next morning -- that is, if you can actually stand to drink Olympia all night. But whatever's in the water seems to work, even if the"Olympia" brand is actually brewed by SABMiller in California.
-- Nick Lucchesi

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7. Meister Brau
Meister Brau holds a special place in my heart, if not in my head. It was one of the first beers I drank in mass quantities. Cheap and easy to come by, it's charm ended there as Meisterbrau tasted like the floor of a concert venue smells. In fact, even fresh from the can, it tasted like it was a day -- or a month old. Thankfully, Meister Brau doesn't appear to be on the shelves anymore, so my head and my nostalgia are both safe. (Beer Advocate gives this brew an "F")
-- Jonathan Shikes

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"Hurry up and take the picture! This beer tastes like pee!"
6. Hamm's
When I was in college in California twenty years ago, six-packs of Hamm's cost $2.02 at the divey little liquor store near campus -- whether you had a fake I.D. or not. My friend and I would often begin our weekend by driving to the store and stacking up ten to twelve six-packs, loading them into our arms and carrying them out. A buzz from Hamm's came quickly, but the taste was somewhat, uh, bad. Which is why it was one of the only beers that I sometimes did a shot of tequila after drinking, rather than the other way around.
-- Jonathan Shikes

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