Ten beers to stop drinking at age thirty

Categories: Booze News

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Cheap beer.

It's a libation that most of us down during our late teens and twenties. But like all childish things, there comes a time to banish these cheap cans and brands forever. We argued over which beers should and shouldn't be included on this list, but we eventually came to a consensus. Herewith, are top ten cheap beers to ditch when you reach the big 3-0.

Disclaimer: Eschewing these brews and then becoming a beer snob is perhaps the most reprehensible of acts. Just order your beer and drink it.

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10. Natural Light
There's a lot of resentment, bitterness and cringe-inducing memories related to the beers on the list, but in defense of Natural Light, it's mostly a watery beer that one can drink a good six of before really feeling good about himself. It's a beer to start off with if you're already involved in a good rotation of getting drunk every other day. And if you're getting drunk every other day and older than thirty, there are all kinds of twelve-step programs for you. This is not to say that you can't indulge in some Natty Light during company slow-pitch softball games, with friends while watching the NFL, or even in the back of the room during your son's Cub Scout meetings.
-- Nick Lucchesi

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Image Via Flickr
9. Stroh's
Stroh's was swill, pure swill -- and this was the opinion of a guy who liked Milwaukee's Best. The stuff tasted like it was mashed with gym shorts and "fire-brewed" in hell. But when the company came out with the thirty-pack (it may have been the first to do so, although I'm not positive), Stroh's gained the love of teenagers everywhere who could now take "thirty friends" to the party for the price of 24.
-- Jonathan Shikes

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8. Olympia
"It's the water" is printed on every can of this once-Northwestern brew that's often found at the bottom of the menu for around $2 or $3 at a bar. And I can speak from immediate experience (last night), that you can drink Olympia all night and not feel too incredibly hungover the next morning -- that is, if you can actually stand to drink Olympia all night. But whatever's in the water seems to work, even if the"Olympia" brand is actually brewed by SABMiller in California.
-- Nick Lucchesi

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7. Meister Brau
Meister Brau holds a special place in my heart, if not in my head. It was one of the first beers I drank in mass quantities. Cheap and easy to come by, it's charm ended there as Meisterbrau tasted like the floor of a concert venue smells. In fact, even fresh from the can, it tasted like it was a day -- or a month old. Thankfully, Meister Brau doesn't appear to be on the shelves anymore, so my head and my nostalgia are both safe. (Beer Advocate gives this brew an "F")
-- Jonathan Shikes

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"Hurry up and take the picture! This beer tastes like pee!"
6. Hamm's
When I was in college in California twenty years ago, six-packs of Hamm's cost $2.02 at the divey little liquor store near campus -- whether you had a fake I.D. or not. My friend and I would often begin our weekend by driving to the store and stacking up ten to twelve six-packs, loading them into our arms and carrying them out. A buzz from Hamm's came quickly, but the taste was somewhat, uh, bad. Which is why it was one of the only beers that I sometimes did a shot of tequila after drinking, rather than the other way around.
-- Jonathan Shikes

My Voice Nation Help
28 comments
Keloid
Keloid

Mickeys....and Boxer 40s. That is all.

overfiend1976
overfiend1976

Any cheap, crap beers at all should never be consumed at any age.

GFTW
GFTW

Pretty much right on on all of them.

LmtdLC2
LmtdLC2

Bud Light and Heineken should be the first beers on the list.  This list is about "my grandfather drank these 40 years ago and all my friends think they're uncool beers."  So on the list they go.  Reality; a lot of these are solid beers that don't cost a lot.  More reality; a lot of beers that sell well and are not cheap, are not good beers and not on this list. The author is an idiot.

BackOffImStarving
BackOffImStarving topcommenter

Says the d-bag who doesn't know how to use a semicolon correctly.  Enjoy your can of Lost Lake *gag*.

Sushijake
Sushijake

Any ice beer shouldnt be cosumed past college and I agree the PBR hipster fad should fade into ones 30s

cgorrel1
cgorrel1

I refuse to let hipsters take PBR away from me.  I don't always drink cheap beer. But when I do, I drink PBR.  IMHO its one of the better American style Lagers out there. 

Lan242
Lan242

Great article. I'm living in Taiwan now and the beer here is no better. At least at home in the states you have a choice on what to drink. If you want bad beer, you can have it. But here they only serve up about ten kinds, and they all taste exactly the same. Asahi and Sapporro are fine Japanese lagers, but even those served in Taiwan are licensed and brewed here, and made to taste like all the other beers on the island. Thankfully, the beer served at the western bars is the same as home, but at $7 a glass you will pay for it. John

Ramfan
Ramfan

Mr Garratt,I believe you stole the bananas idea from a one Mr. Turtle from Napper-ville, Ill. I believe you owe him due credit.

SOBMark
SOBMark

Yeah. Well. People don't all drink beer for the same reasons. At SaveOnBrew.Com we regularly see beer as cheap as 40 cents for 12 ounces. And they sell a ton-o-them. So while I agree that there are some shit beers on that list, they can't all be winners, right?

P.S. - I would ad Pearl to your list. God bless 'em.

Rawdoggin
Rawdoggin

My first experience with frat-boy douchebaggery was represented by Black Label beer. No wonder I start to twitch whenever I see a game of frisbee start up on a college campus....

Harvey
Harvey

Old Milwaukee.

The flag-football concussion of beers.

Bree Davies
Bree Davies

No High Life? I used to enjoy the 8 oz. ponies with a straw.

Jon S
Jon S like.author.displayName 1 Like

30? I stopped drinking these beers when once I turned 21 and could buy my own.

Jamie
Jamie

Funny how PBR got left out of this list- it fits in perfectly with Stohs, Hamms, and Olympia, and tastes just as terrible but because it's gained some cult following it was left off. Okay, whatever, why didn't you include Busch or Mickeys? Those are much more common college beers IMHO. Extra Gold could be categorized as an old man's beer. And yes I will eschew all these beers, but I still enjoy a High Life now and again.

Nate5280
Nate5280

Hating something because a certain group likes it is far more ridiculous in my opinion than liking something just because a certain group likes it. Try a PBR/High Life blind tasting sometime, just for the fun of it. Hell throw in an extra gold and maybe something else. You will only be down a few bucks and at least will know what you are talking about if you want to continue to slam one or the other. PBR by far is in the lead with people I know that have done this. Extra Gold also ranks pretty high.

And, no, I am not a hipster and have been drinking PBR before it caught on with its new wave of fans. I just am lucky it is more common now when I want a light beer instead of an IPA, belgian, etc i drink on a more regular basis, and even luckier it is usually the cheapest option. Why worry if others are drinking it for the label?

Mantonat
Mantonat

Hating something because someone else likes it is really the only reason to hate something. I can be indifferent about alot of things, but I can only truly hate if it pisses someone else off.

Nick Lucchesi
Nick Lucchesi

I thought PBR should definitely be included, but I was overruled by, well, everybody. I'm with you Jamie

Feldman
Feldman

You must work with hipsters!

tim davids
tim davids

This article is filled with hateful, anti-hipster bias.

Beavis
Beavis like.author.displayName 1 Like

You forgot Corona.

B2 again
B2 again

our = are

Mantonat
Mantonat

As long as you are correcting typos: Dinty Moore, not Denty Moore. Or maybe you meant Demi Moore, whose beef stew is the best when camping.

B2
B2

Well, I would not be caught drinking these at the local watering hole. Several our staples when camping out in the woods around a fire and some Denty Moore beef stew.oh and I would rock the hell out of that Olympia sweater...

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