Ten beers to stop drinking at age thirty

Categories: Booze

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Cheap beer.

It's a libation that most of us down during our late teens and twenties. But like all childish things, there comes a time to banish these cheap cans and brands forever. We argued over which beers should and shouldn't be included on this list, but we eventually came to a consensus. Herewith, are top ten cheap beers to ditch when you reach the big 3-0.

Disclaimer: Eschewing these brews and then becoming a beer snob is perhaps the most reprehensible of acts. Just order your beer and drink it.

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10. Natural Light
There's a lot of resentment, bitterness and cringe-inducing memories related to the beers on the list, but in defense of Natural Light, it's mostly a watery beer that one can drink a good six of before really feeling good about himself. It's a beer to start off with if you're already involved in a good rotation of getting drunk every other day. And if you're getting drunk every other day and older than thirty, there are all kinds of twelve-step programs for you. This is not to say that you can't indulge in some Natty Light during company slow-pitch softball games, with friends while watching the NFL, or even in the back of the room during your son's Cub Scout meetings.
-- Nick Lucchesi

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Image Via Flickr
9. Stroh's
Stroh's was swill, pure swill -- and this was the opinion of a guy who liked Milwaukee's Best. The stuff tasted like it was mashed with gym shorts and "fire-brewed" in hell. But when the company came out with the thirty-pack (it may have been the first to do so, although I'm not positive), Stroh's gained the love of teenagers everywhere who could now take "thirty friends" to the party for the price of 24.
-- Jonathan Shikes

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8. Olympia
"It's the water" is printed on every can of this once-Northwestern brew that's often found at the bottom of the menu for around $2 or $3 at a bar. And I can speak from immediate experience (last night), that you can drink Olympia all night and not feel too incredibly hungover the next morning -- that is, if you can actually stand to drink Olympia all night. But whatever's in the water seems to work, even if the"Olympia" brand is actually brewed by SABMiller in California.
-- Nick Lucchesi

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7. Meister Brau
Meister Brau holds a special place in my heart, if not in my head. It was one of the first beers I drank in mass quantities. Cheap and easy to come by, it's charm ended there as Meisterbrau tasted like the floor of a concert venue smells. In fact, even fresh from the can, it tasted like it was a day -- or a month old. Thankfully, Meister Brau doesn't appear to be on the shelves anymore, so my head and my nostalgia are both safe. (Beer Advocate gives this brew an "F")
-- Jonathan Shikes

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"Hurry up and take the picture! This beer tastes like pee!"
6. Hamm's
When I was in college in California twenty years ago, six-packs of Hamm's cost $2.02 at the divey little liquor store near campus -- whether you had a fake I.D. or not. My friend and I would often begin our weekend by driving to the store and stacking up ten to twelve six-packs, loading them into our arms and carrying them out. A buzz from Hamm's came quickly, but the taste was somewhat, uh, bad. Which is why it was one of the only beers that I sometimes did a shot of tequila after drinking, rather than the other way around.
-- Jonathan Shikes


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112 comments
Scott Cheatham
Scott Cheatham

Yes, I quit drinking altogether....long time ago... :)

Bruce D Ranstad
Bruce D Ranstad

Nat Light is still my choice IF I want an ice cold one. Normally, it's only a straight sniffer of Ron Diaz Spiced Rum ... in the summer I chase that with an iced Nat Light while slaving over the grill. *lol*

Jeff Schmieder
Jeff Schmieder

Yes. Would rather drink a couple high quality beers instead of a twelve pack of Old Style.

Cindy Kleh
Cindy Kleh

Those types of cheap, big-corporation beers are filled with GMOs and nasty chemicals that keep them from foaming. Alcoholic beverages don't have to label their ingredients like foods do. Better to drink microbrews.

Jeffrey R. Kuntzelman
Jeffrey R. Kuntzelman

I quit drinking entirely a few years ago. Just didn't seem like fun anymore.

Bengy Martinez
Bengy Martinez

Omg natty light tops this last in my opinion. Fucking nasty light should be the name.

Drew Aslin
Drew Aslin

My dad is 66 and drinks a Busch Light every night! No judgements... you stay classy, Milwaukee! :)

Jim Jungr
Jim Jungr

Any beer with fruit flavoring or light beer (any kind)

Bill Pacheco
Bill Pacheco

I was expecting to see Rainier beer or Schmidt's Beer (also known as Animal Beer because of the pictures on each can)

Max Alan Absher
Max Alan Absher

Are you seriously going to tell a 95 year old they can't drink a natty light? #drinkwatchalike

Slimm Pickins
Slimm Pickins

So I guess PBR and Busch Light see still good to go?

Yuke Toofte
Yuke Toofte

All of these are beers to play beer darts with...then again rolling rock is the real choice

Wendy Cox
Wendy Cox

Beer snobs are the worst.. Drink what you like and quit being so judgy

Matityahu Rich
Matityahu Rich

Didn't read the article because I will drink whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want. Westword bats about 1-3 as for articles content , two trash pieces of work for every solid article written is about what I'd say is their average. They'd be a great baseball player except very rarely do they hit home runs.

Sean Anderson
Sean Anderson

Coors Extra Gold just sounds gross didn't know it was still made , I think most people by 30 don't drink these unless you are Joe Dirt or a Juggalo !

Mark Leiby
Mark Leiby

Unlike the Westword then. Why bitch and complain?

Pete Matthews
Pete Matthews

My late Welsh-English doctorate advisor used to say of Olympia, "If they know it's the water, why don't they do something about it."

jetthead69
jetthead69

I can get a 12 pack of Natural Light (Cans) for $5.99.. Works for me, Taste great and the price is right. :)

orenthal777
orenthal777

Do these beers stop getting you drunk at 30 or is it because you have to put airs on your alcoholism? Yuppie scum.


davelikesfish
davelikesfish

I'm glad you didn't put Schlitz on the list. I love that beer. Tastes just like the 60's.

Ross X. Wobble
Ross X. Wobble

Olympia is on there and not PBR? They are the same beer

Kelly Lemieux
Kelly Lemieux

we're all suppose to be rich by 30 so we can buy the nice stuff? You guys are republicans or something...

Mike Reay
Mike Reay

You idiots are using an old Avery beast grand Cru label to represent Milwaukee's best. Disgracing an amazing beer

Matt McMullin
Matt McMullin

Remember there are no bad beers only better ones. But the 8.9# Steel was pretty hard to get down.

Ben Rodriguez
Ben Rodriguez

Fuck you guys. PBR is cheap and taste good. You stereotyping assholes...

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