Biker Jim's Gourmet Dogs won't open on St. Paddy's Day, but it will host a St. Paddy's Day party - on the Paddy-o!

Lori Midson

To the electrician who completely fucked up Biker Jim's opening, you pretty much suck. Jim Pittenger, aka Biker Jim, was all set to fling open the doors of his new brick-and-mortar, Biker Jim's Gourmet Dogs, on St. Paddy's Day, but thanks to a half-ass electrician, the sausage slayer has had to push the opening back -- by at least a week, maybe more.

"As of late last week, we were all set to get our certificate of occupancy, plus our liquor license, in which case we would have been ready to open on St. Paddy's Day, but we got screwed because a nameless electrician didn't do all the work he was supposed to do," laments Jim. Last he heard, that "nameless electrician" was holed up in the pokey, doing time for god-knows-what. "I have no idea why, but I do know that he bounced the check to the city for our electrical inspections, which kinda sucks."

And that's not all: According to Jim, not only did the idiot try to pay with a bounced check; he never ordered -- or installed -- a house meter, something that's, uh, necessary when opening a business. An then he had the audacity to ask, through a friend, if Jim would bail him out of the slammer, a request, notes Jim, that he "emphatically denied."

But Jim, being Jim, isn't the kind of guy to let a d-bag subcontractor derail his plans, and he's not about ready to let the 800 Guinness beer brats and Belfast bangers he planned to haul out on St. Patrick's Day go by the way of the leprechaun, so while he won't have his liquor-license in place, and the store won't be officially open for business, he's still going to push out a few carts in front of the facade, which now has official signage, and have a St. Paddy's Day party on the Paddy-o. "We won't be able to sell any alcohol, but we'll burn a bunch of dogs on the patio starting at around 10 p.m, and we'll have an alcohol-free party inside for anyone who wants to stop by and check out the space," says Jim.

As for an opening date, Jim is hoping that he'll be able to serve beer and brats by April 1, the same day the Colorado Rockies play their first game of the season at Coors Field. "We've got to be open by the Rockies opening day," says Jim, "or else."