Top five foods to stock up on when you're about to get fired

1) After packing your desk, stop by the nearest McDonald's and ask your still-employed friend behind the counter to give you a burger that's about to be tossed after its fifteen minutes of fame under the heat lamp.

2) Next stop: your local grocery store. Look in the clearance area of the meat department. If you find a morsel of gristle that's past the selling date, that's a big score -- the store can't sell it, and will probably give it to you. Winner Winner chicken dinner!

3) One word: ramen. Yes, you thought you were done with this after college. But you were wrong. Freeze-dried noodles packaged in plastic wrap have been a staple of the unemployed since before plastic wrap was invented.

4) While at the grocery store, grab some Kool-Aid. While many people might want to stock up on their favorite flavor of ice cream for solace, that's expensive, and you need to think about budgeting. Once you're home, take a packet of Kool-Aid, mix it with a pint of the cheapest vodka and pour it all into an ice cube tray, then freeze. This is far more economical -- and efficient -- than passé Jello shots.

5) Above all, remember to stock up on friends -- particularly the ones who are still employed, so they can pick up your drink tab when you head to the neighborhood watering hole with the free happy-hour buffet, which is about to become your regular dinner stop. (Love those fried items!) After you've been fired, these are the best friends with benefits.