Get your Thanksgiving dinner from the Dollar Tree (PHOTOS)


TG DT lede.JPG
J. Wohletz
With national cram-your-gut-and-pass-out-on-your-couch day approaching, many food-insecure Denverites may be wondering how they will squeeze a huge Thanksgiving din-din out of a lean wallet. But never fear: Whenever there are poor locals looking for a holiday feast on the cheap, the Dollar Tree is there. The store has everything you could want for a hearty and inexpensive turkey-day meal -- and, of course, every item is just a dollar.

Here's our photo tour of Thanksgiving dinner from the Dollar Tree. No need to thank us.

TG DT 1.JPG
J. Wohletz
Appetizer: Nothing shows you care like having appetizers for your guests to nosh while they're waiting for dinner -- or another beer run. The beauty part of these canned and jarred treats is that the presentation is so simple: Drain and dump each onto the same paper plate, or just stick a plastic fork into the open jars/cans.

TG DT2.JPG
J. Wohletz
Appetizer: Only the best for your guests: chicken crackers, which are almost surely, probably, flavored with real chicken.

TG DT4.JPG
J. Wohletz
Drinks: For the one or two people at your Thanksgiving dinner who aren't getting snockered on wine coolers, how about a nice, steaming Mason-jar mug of spiced apple cider? Add hot water and stir, just like Grandma used to.

TG DT5.JPG
J. Wohletz
Salad: Lettuce is overrated. Instead, open up a can of everyone's favorite vegetable: canned beets. Just tell the kiddos that if they don't eat them, they won't get any dessert and you'll tell Santa that they suck, and they won't get any Dollar Tree gifts this year.

TG DT6.JPG
J. Wohletz
Side dish: Canned fruit salad, including probably not mushy, inedible bananas, will add a bit of color to your Thanksgiving spread.

TG DT8.JPG
J. Wohletz
Side dish: Despite the bad rap that canned mixed vegetables have gotten over the years, you can help make them cool again at this Dollar Tree dinner.

TG DT9.JPG
J. Wohletz
Side dish: Green-bean casserole is a holiday staple. Instead of buying the off-brand ingredients for it at Wal-Mart, why not just get the off-off-off-off brand stuff at the Dollar Tree? No one will notice as long as you don't forget the crispy fried onion thingies on top.

TG DT10.JPG
J. Wohletz
Side dish: Using fresh yams to cook with is for those snotty cooking shows; the good 'ol all-American canned ones are just fine. And it's possible that the dented cans may cost even less than a dollar, so that means more smushy leftovers.

TG DT11.JPG
J. Wohletz

Side dishes: You really must have mashed potatoes, and why not spring for the not-quite-Velveeta shells and cheese? They're particularly tasty when coupled with cut-up, not-quite-Vienna sausages as a garnish.

TG DT12.JPG
J. Wohletz
Side dishes: Stove Top stuffing and real Rice-a-Roni are for rich people, but thanks to the competitively priced side dishes at the Dollar Tree, you can dazzle your diners with their choice of gravy: packet or canned.

TG DT13.JPG
J. Wohletz
Bonus side dish: These pre-made gelatin and "fruit" salads are a real time-saver, and the clear containers will ensure that your guests can distinguish the plain from the deluxe creamy.

TG DT14.JPG
J. Wohletz
Main course: Turkey? Okay, so Dollar Tree is fresh out of canned turkey, but a welcomed substitute can be found in the cold case. Sure, hot dogs and bologna may not be the traditional meat course served at Thanksgiving, but all it takes is a frying pan and you've got yourselves a delicious and cost-effective entree. If you have the time, why not decorate them with a bit of mustard or barbecue sauce?

TG DT 15.JPG
J. Wohletz
Dessert: Pies are the hallmark of a fine holiday feast. Sure, you could be old-fashioned and actually bake a few, but why would you do that when you can rip open a few boxes and give everyone their own individually wrapped pie? They get their choice of pecan or coconut.

And if any pies are left over, they will no doubt keep until Thanksgiving next year...or the year after.



My Voice Nation Help
49 comments
plumbing
plumbing

I think was a complete meal to offer and it is for free. Well, it is a privilege to give thanks.

 Mr Kitty
Mr Kitty

I agree with Dishpr. can't you just be informational and fun and save the snark to TMZ and the like? there are a lot of poverty stricken people with pride and they deserve our respect and help.

Victoria Grace
Victoria Grace

I understand the satire of the article so I'm not really offended, but there may be a misconception amongst some in society that food from the Dollar Tree is bottom-of-the-line.Yeah, some food IS but most isn't. I love to buy groceries from the Dollar Tree--I find it a lot of fun that I can get everything from chicken thighs to fresh bread and (really good quality) cold cuts for a fraction of the price I'd be paying at supermarkets for (really) the same kind of products. I don't shop there because I'm poor (I'm not)--I shop there because I'm super frugal and am always hunting for a bargain, no matter how much money is in my purse. I also shop at Wegman's which is a very upscale gourmet supermarket. I just love paying low prices! For the same reason, I adore thrifting and getting freebies online.Really, the food there is NOT bad--I've had quite a few yummy meals from there. :)

Guest
Guest

don't you get it? i'm makiing typos so you can cry about it.......you are so predictable

Johnnysnewstart
Johnnysnewstart

she gets to shop at whole foods because she cracks her legs open once a month for hubby.

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

Hell, if that's all it takes to get a trip to the Whole Foods then I'm in the dead wrong line of work. What would I have to do to get an extra bag of organic green beans thrown in the mix?

GFTW
GFTW

Get a job at Twin Peaks! There's a Whole Paycheck right across Colfax.

GFTW
GFTW

Now you're thinking!!

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

I think that's a fine idearr. I'm sure I would have no trouble getting hired on, since dudes LOVE chubby, pink-haired, inked-up, pierced-up servers bringing them cheese fries. I'll wear a barely-there bikini top, shorty-short shorts and bend over--a lot. But I would really need to make sure that my new employers have no issue with me tithing 10% of my gross income to the LDS church.

Dishpr
Dishpr

this isn't satire. grab your dictionary. poking fun at food that comes from a place where many people (may need to) shop, is lame.

Mantonat
Mantonat

See, epl? This is exactly what I am talking about. Dishpr thinks that Jenn is making fun of Dollar Tree and its customers. It's not even within the realm of possibility that the larger point is that cheap, industrial, mass-produced food is making Americans sick, even after I conveniently included some numbered tips on how to interpret this particular line of satire. I hear one-year-old, milk-fed babies are a good source of sustenance, or at least a good source of income if you'd rather sell one than eat one.

Dishpr
Dishpr

even if we take your point about "cheap, industrial, mass-produced..." who cares when most people don't have the resources to eat differently. you're insights are a light in the fog to people who have to shop at dollar tree. and if this was supposed to be satire, then maybe the author should have written it in 3rd person instead of  2nd.. i mean if he actually wanted to satirize an institution and not a group of dollar tree customers. snob city.

Mantonat
Mantonat

Pointing out social inequity is the first step in the direction of change. Calling someone named Jennifer "he" is just adding to the impression that your reading skills are remedial at best.

GFTW
GFTW

She meant, "All Your Dollar Tree Are Belong To Us."

lipster
lipster

Ditto Dishpr.   And the writer's self-justifying responses to this thread of comments only make it worse.  

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

Newspapers? Are those the things made from paper with words on them? I have heard of such things.

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

My one real regret about my age is that I wasn't old enough to remember the Reagan administration. Pity.

Colforbin
Colforbin

lucky you. reagan sucked balls.

GFTW
GFTW

Yeah, all that prosperity really sucked.

GFTW
GFTW

Truly great times back then. The complete opposite of now.

Guest
Guest

if these times are so bad you do something to change them instead of complaning on a blog comment section. or you could just off yourswelf.

GFTW
GFTW

Riiiiiiight. Occupying cesspools on plazas is clearly the way.

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

Story haves typo? Writter should be takn outsid an shot.

Guest
Guest

 "Obviously it's a typo"... no shit fucking asshole. so if you know it's a typo what is the point? to make yourswelf feel big and smart? to make someone else feel bad. that's the point i'm making. you are dick.. just to be a dick. so go fuck youself dick.

Guest
Guest

yes that makes sense.  it's asking if you are at the dollar tree. did you ever think of that genius?

Guest
Guest

i was repling to you greg not col

Colforbin
Colforbin

huh what? do you not understand the statement? are you not familar with the dollar tree? what part is so confusing to you?

Guest
Guest

oh..... you one of those proof reader assholes. i guess that you are refering to her use of the word ARE instead of FOR. but maybe she just forgot a ?

Jon S
Jon S

I can't believe people get so offended my a satirical post in a food blog. If you do, then I submit that your wit is duller than the ambiance at the Cherry Creek Grill, your sense of humor more bland than the food at Casa Bonita, and your mind more sparsely populated than the top of a Marco's Coal Fired pizza.

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

Heeheehee.....I'd prefer a Dollar Tree meal over one at Casa Bonita any day. If only the DT had cliff divers...sigh.

Mantonat
Mantonat

I guess those lessons in social satire have not helped the Cafe Society readership, so here's a rough guide:1) It is a common media trope these days that obesity is rampant in the US, especially below the poverty line.2) Dollar Tree and similar stores are a necessary  reality for many working-class Americans.3) How are people supposed to find healthy food when the cheapest food is the worst food for you?

Jenn is using humor to point out social inequities. Maybe you don't think it's funny, but then maybe you just don't think, period.

epl
epl

Two references to satire on an internet message board in one week!  You're so intellectual Mantonat.  Perhaps you can replace the In the Weeds column and give all of us intellectually-inferior simple folk lessons in critically reading the literary wonders of Cafe Society. 

But, I digress.  What if Westword's attempts at satire aren't funny?  You (in a very reductive manner, and reductive is being nice) dismiss people who don't find this funny as people who "just don't think."  I see it differently.  It's a lack of thinking from Westword that's resulting in poor attempts at humor that come off as more than a bit heavy handed (seriously, the Joe Paterno shot was beyond sophomoric.)

But what do I know, I'm just someone who doesn't think. Period.

Mantonat
Mantonat

Thanks for keeping up on my responses - it feels great to have a readership! I don't think I ever claimed that this article and the Joe Paterno cocktail recipe were funny. Whether or not you think they are funny is not the point. The point is that some people were claiming to be offended by the content of the articles. If you don't understand the attempt at satire in the first place, I guess it would be easy to assume that the writers think that poor people and child abuse are funny. My only hope is that people stop for a moment to ask the question: Is this writer really so insensitive that they would make fun of the victims of malnourishment/abuse, or are they trying to skewer the perpetrators or otherwise make a point about socio-economics/politics/media oversaturation/etc. In my first response to the other article, I mentioned Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" because in back in the early 1700s, people were ignorant enough to think he was actually advocating eating children.

GFTW
GFTW

You're right. Expensive food like foie gras is definitely what healthy, fit people eat all the time.

Colforbin
Colforbin

you must go to the same dollar tree as me... leetsdale and holly?

Dishpr
Dishpr

this comes off as snobby, elitist and in very poor taste.

Denver chef
Denver chef

Couldn't agree more. Since when is green giant an "off off off" brand?

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

Poverty and food insecurity are alive and well, apparently as are poor reading comprehension skills.

Jennifer Wohletz
Jennifer Wohletz

Santa is watching you--no off-off-off-off brand snack cakes in your stocking this year.

GFTW
GFTW

WestWord, the DollarTree of rags. Oh, wait, they have to GIVE it away!

Guest
Guest

but your reading it. and it's odd that someone who's name is go fuck the world is complaining about poor taste.

GFTW
GFTW

I is nos it aisn't.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...