Happy Titanic anniversary! Five famous celebrity last meals

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The RMS Titanic sank on April 15, 1912, and for the hundredth anniversary of that event Cullen's Upscale American Grille in Houston is offering a replication of the first-class passengers' last dinner. For a thousand bucks a plate, ten lucky diners can enjoy a ten-course meal that includes such dishes as Oysters ala Russe, Consommé Olga, Roast Rack of Lamb with Mint Sauce, and Waldorf Pudding.

Serving the last meal from the famously doomed passenger ship could be seen as opportunistic at best and downright gruesome at worst, but exploiting peoples' morbid fascination with dead celebrities isn't a new thing. Thanks to a fantastic book full of gory deets on final repasts, Their Last Suppers: Legends of Time and Their Final Meals by Andrew Caldwell, we can serve up this list of five famous celebrity last meals. We just hope they didn't forget to tip before they tipped off.

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5. Marilyn Monroe's last meal was...

F*cked up answer: 47 pentobarbital capsules. Marilyn actually had Mexican buffet takeout. Her gorgeous hourglass figure probably allowed her to eat like a normal person at least some of the time, and it's pretty comforting to know that she didn't spend her last dinner nibbling at little cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off and sipping champagne. Nope, she got her guacamole on, and that's just one of the many reasons why we love her to this day.

4. Abraham Lincoln's last meal was...

F*cked up answer: lead. President Lincoln dined at the White House before his ill-fated trip to the theater, and he enjoyed clear mock turtle soup, roast Virginia fowl with chestnut stuffing, baked yams and cauliflower with cheese sauce. Abe had a tough job, what with the South seceding from the Union and the Civil War all, so he deserved some fine cuisine. And apparently he ate his vegetables, which is great since he has to keep up his strength to fight vampires in the new Timur Bekmambetov movie.

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3. General George Armstrong Custer's last meal was...

F*cked up answer: massive amounts of crow. Custer actually had a personal chef who traveled with him and prepared his meals, and his last supper is purported to have been roasted buffalo steak, beans with molasses, roasted wild corn and prairie hen. We don't know what the native Americans who filled him full of bullets had for dinner, but it's a good guess that their next meal was probably pretty satisfying.

2. Adolf Hitler's last meal was...

F*cked up answer: a bullet that didn't come soon enough. Hitler was a vegetarian, and reportedly had issues with the mistreatment of animals -- which is interesting, considering how he treated humans. His final meal was vegetable soup and mashed potatoes, and he had a greenhouse to keep him supplied with fresh produce during the war. But historians have contended that Hitler consistently cheated on his diet and ate caviar, ham and sausages -- his cook reportedly ratted him out -- and that makes Hitler a big, fat, flesh-imbibing liar, along with being a murderous piece of shit.

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1. Jesus Christ's last meal was...

F*cked up answer: nachos and a six-pack of malt liquor. Jesus really deserved a good meal before all that dying-on-a -cross business, and honestly no one knows what he had for his last meal. According to the good book, he at least had bread and wine at his much-venerated last supper that reportedly took place between his donkey ride into Jerusalem and his crucifixion. It is supposed that this dinner was a traditional Passover seder meal, which would have included unleavened bread, rice and lamb, but Jesus had a lot on his mind between blessing people and giving Judas the stink-eye from across the table, so he may never have gotten to the rest of the meal.



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2 comments
Jack
Jack

The fact that you would disrespect the Lord God Almighty like this is proof that you will burn in hellfire for the rest of eternity. The sooner your damnation comes at the hands of the one true God the better.  Just kidding making fun of an imaginary friend actually never causies anything bad to happen to you. I just wanted to beat the religious nutters in their  rants.

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