Five things I've found in men's refrigerators that made me not want to date them
We've all had the unique pleasure of visiting a date's domicile and opening the refrigerator door for the first time. This can be a very telling moment. I've been treated to sights in men's iceboxes that no human being should ever witness, and as if I didn't have enough good reasons for refusing to date certain guys again, the hairy, scary monsters that lurk in their fridges are definitely deal breakers for me.
Here is my list of five things I've found in men's refrigerators that made me not want to date them. It ain't easy having standards.
5. Bad beer, and even worse condiments.
The running joke is that bachelors have nothing but beer and condiments in their refrigerators. With a few exceptions, I have noticed this to be the absolute truth. Cases of Fat Tire and bottles of hot sauce, cans of Guinness and squeezy bottles of mayonnaise -- no actual food or ingredients to make meals, just barbeque and ketchup to adorn fast food and takeout, and beer to swill when the mood strikes.
But I'm willing to forgive a lot if the guy has good beer and good condiments. If I want to date a guy instead of simply using him for a night's entertainment, I want to see things like Sriracha, Ponzu sauce, horseradish, lemon juice and jars of minced garlic in addition to quality mustard. And beers actually worth drinking, like anything from Blue Moon Brewing Co. Why is this important? Because a guy with no imagination is as boring as ketchup, and as easy to find as Bud Light bottles.
4. A rot mess.
Everyone has leftovers in their fridges from time to time, but if you let them turn into mossy, furry, noxious piles of spore-infested slop, then what does it say about your overall state of cleanliness? I've found a strong correlation between guys who have bowls of moldy food in their refrigerators and guys who can't be bothered to clean their living spaces or wash/groom themselves properly.
If a male knows a female is coming to his house and doesn't have the foresight and good sense to clean the old, nasty crap outta the fridge, then obviously he isn't one to try very hard at anything -- and being filthy and lazy are not qualities I look for in a partner.
3. A vast emptiness of nothing.
I was invited to a guy's apartment once for dinner, and quickly discovered that to him, dinner meant a finger, a phone and a pizza. I peered into his fridge and found...absolutely nothing. No food, no drink, no after-sex stash of pudding cups....not even so much as a box of baking soda, much less beer and condiments.
How were we going to fuel up before, during and after a night of sexy, sexy sex with no supplies? I wondered if this was really his apartment. I wondered if he relied on his mother to stock him up once a month. I wondered what the hell I was doing with a guy who did not know how to visit a grocery store.
I left, and continued my search for a better, smarter man -- one with nookie-snacks.