Five discontinued fast-food items I want back

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Taco Bell's menu, circa 1970s.
It never fails: Just when I become emotionally -- and occasionally physically -- attached to a certain fast-food item, the corporate overlords snatch it away like fiendish villains in a Joss Whedon movie (or one of his TV shows that hasn't been cancelled prematurely). Okay, so some items don't sell as well as others, but what's that compared to the disheartened inconvenience that we faithful fast-foodies are forced to endure when we all have to learn to love new things? What about the delicious cheesy, beefy, crunchy, oniony and frozen-yogurty old things?

Here's my list of five discontinued fast-food items that I want back. And why not bring them back? The chains can just market them as "retro," which will make them very hip.

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The Yumbo from Burger King.
5. Burger King's Yumbo.

Back in the 1970s (when I was a zygote), and the early 1980s, when I was mostly sentient, Burger King had the Yumbo: a hot ham-and-cheese sandwich that was a godsend for latchkey kids whose parents couldn't fry a f*cking egg to save their lives even when they were home. The aptly named Yumbo filled a white, seeded hamburger bun with sliced ham and two slices of perfectly melted American cheese. The result was hammy, cheesy and delicious, and if anyone ever digs a Yumbo out of a time capsule, even in its degraded state it would still be better than anything similar that Arby's slops out now.

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Why would McDonald's get rid of the McOnion Nuggets?
4. McOnion Nuggets from McDonald's.

McDonald's had some genius food ideas in the 1980s. McD's deep-fried its pies, used beef-flavored oil to cook its fries, and as more proof that its corporate bigs didn't even pretend to give a fat sh*t about health or nutrition, it offered its own take on onion rings: McOnion Nuggets. They were breaded and deep-fried onion chunks, kinda like the bastard children of hush puppies and onion rings. Things fried in nugget form are déclassé these days, but I guarantee if McDoo brought these back as a special item -- alongside the McRib sandwich, maybe? -- people would drop their bowls of hummus and celery sticks and stuff those McOnion Nuggets down like they were fueled on pure fryer grease, which would then be true.


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15 comments
jcooney787
jcooney787

The yumbo is on the regular menu here in Puerto Rico.

maxplanck0
maxplanck0

Thumbs down on all of these unless you're one who's keen on regurgitation.

Anyn
Anyn

I am not being mean, but.....that's like saying "with all do respect" then being nothing but disrespectful....do you all at westword want to re-title yourselves the "Support Fast Food Blog?" So lame........ Maybe the next post be "Best Coke Products To Serve to Children in Sippy Cups"

foode
foode

I don't remember the onion nuggest or the Yumbo.  Were those available in Colorado? What Taco Bell needs to bring back is the Cinnamon Crispas.

Buywty
Buywty

How about the Chicken Little from KFC back around '87 or so?  They were 39 cents a piece, if I remember correctly.  A price even my 12 yr old budget could afford!

food suppliers
food suppliers

You ask some good questions here and bring up some interesting points. Thank-you. 

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @88b97e59b666470efd4a6a201e164f31:disqus : Good tip on the Yumbo--imma ask next time I'm at BK. Those onion nuggs were pure, greasy gold, and I don't remember them being around long enough. I think they would pair nicely with the McRib, despite the horrendous calorie count on that prospective value meal.

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @Utterly: Be incredibly glad that you missed this shameful era in McDoo history. I worked at a McDoo for like ten minutes in high school during the McPizza phase. The crusts were dry, premade and awful, the sauce had no discernible seasoning, and the cheese was worse than the mozz that Domino's uses--stringy and rubbery. P-tooh! P-tooh!

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @google-4bc7c627240e149c9d74ed40da5f0860:disqus : I love making them at home now, but mine just don't have enough of that drippy, orange grease that made the original ones so great.

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @tropicalchrome:disqus : Have you tried the chocolate-fudge-truffle-whatsit Blizzard they have now? I'm 100 percent in love with it.

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @c3338b22f684b06c2073b037043fe245:disqus : I member that! It was crispy goodness.

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @GFTW:disqus : I like to include those sentimental widdle "care-shares" from time to time.

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @DenverNative: I LOVED that taco pizza!

Jennburgers
Jennburgers

 @google-4bc7c627240e149c9d74ed40da5f0860:disqus : I think that pizza was ahead of its time. : )

Absolute1
Absolute1

I don't count calories on the same days I eat McRibs. Don't have that many fingers.

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