Five worst food and beverage slogans ever

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Clever, market-savvy purveyors of food and drink have spent some serious Cheddar on making sure that we, the consuming public, buy whatever they are peddling. Sometimes their efforts work like Lucky Charms, and other times the slogans are so bad that people will go out of their way to avoid the poorly touted product. These dumbf*ck slogans are often more memorable than the successful ad campaigns. Want proof? Here's my list of the five worst food and beverage slogans ever. Yo quiero Taco Bell.

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I seriously have this shirt.
5. "Make 7-Up Yours."

This sody-pop slogan from the late 1990s was so incredibly horrible that it was actually kind of cool -- particularly since some folks got pissed off at the naughty language, and the implication that that the bubbly lemon-lime soda should be rammed up and into dark, sweaty orifices. In fact, I still have a bright green T-shirt with "Make 7" on the front and "Up Yours" on the back.

4. "I'm Lovin' It!"

McDonald's came out with this simplistic, Justin Timberlake-crooned theme slogan-ette in the mid 2000s -- at the same time JT and boys' choirs were popular -- and I remember thinking that this particular slogan wasn't accurate at all: I didn't know a single person over, say, the age of twelve who still really loved anything on the McDonald's menu. Mostly people just order the double cheeseburgers, fries, pies and shakes, ignore their primal urges of self-preservation while stuffing down the grub -- and then feel fifty shades of ashamed and penitent immediately afterward. Maybe McDoo should have run with the slogan "I'm Lovin' It Until I Want to Regurge in an Old Tupperware Bowl with a Lid."

3. "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face."

Just what, exactly, was good old Carl's Jr. talking about?



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4 comments
BrianMartinez
BrianMartinez

You forgot Wendy's "Where's the Beef?!"  Because you know there's nothing funnier than watching old people on the edge of senility shouting about crappy food.  If I wanted that, I'd go visit a nursing home.

astandy
astandy

@DenverWestword You missed "The girl comes first in Girl Scouting" back in the 90's.Lasted mere weeks.; )Oh,sorry,not food.Still,worst ever!

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

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