Kiss my cheese grits! Is the Waffle House affected by the CEO sex scandal?
As I expected, my order was done in under ten minutes and I got my first plate: piled with a fat, flat-grilled chicken breast filet, two perfectly done sunny-side up eggs, grits swimming in melted butter and tagged on the edges with not-really-melted processed cheese slices. The best part of ordering sunny-side up eggs is being able to dip toast triangles in the yellow dippy goo, but it also worked well with the grits. The chicken was juicy but under-seasoned, so I soon turned my attention to the piping-hot waffle plopped down in front of me.
J. Wohletz It's good to see this place never changes.
Waffle House can make a waffle.
This one was thick, moist, not too sweet, and had ribbons of pumpkin spice batter running through it; it didn't need butter or syrup -- the sign of an exceptional waffle. I was already nearing a state of full when the mega-turbo-gut-killer hash browns arrived.
These hash browns were a thing of beauty: a mountainous pile of fried potato, more processed cheese, barely-heated canned mushrooms, lightly sautéed onion dices, overripe tomato chunks, vinegary pickled jalapenos, hunks of salty seared ham, and whirls of milk-white, well-peppered country sausage gravy -- and then the whole spectacular mound was buried under a volcanic layer of chili, the kind with meat and beans.
J. Wohletz Just look at the not-really-melted cheesy goodness!
I shoveled, scooped, scraped and crammed as much as I could, and still had to take half the order home. These hash browns were everything I thought they'd be -- and more. When you are small on cash, big on hungry and/or drunk as fuck, these are what you need.
I paid my reasonable tab and was thankful that I'd decided to revisit my old stompin' ground. Visiting a Waffle House is like peering at a trailer-park Norman Rockwell painting; it's about as unaffected a greasy spoon stop as you can find. And it deserves better than it's former CEO's tawdry sex scandal.
Thank goodness the hash browns remain untainted.