From burnt eggs to brown cheese: Five more terrible foods -- and how we got stuck with them

lede.jpg
Like everyone else who eats and drinks, I have a list of certain grubs and sips that are so foul that I won't go near them, and it is a constant source of curiosity for me that other people would -- to the point that some of the grossest edibles are actually quite popular.

Here are five more terrible foods and drinks -- and how we got stuck with them.

See also:
- From Oreos to margarine: Five terrible foods -- and how we got stuck with them
- Eating a dead horse: Five reasons why horse meat isn't such a terrible tragedy
- Terrible tacos and Chocolate Overlord Cake: Denver's new Jack in the Box

goes with 5.jpg
5. Frittatas
These Italian-style egg dishes are sorta like omelets, sorta like quiche -- and sorta disgusting. I have never had a slice of frittata either in a restaurant or at someone's house that wasn't a messy mashup of half-cooked vegetables; tough, salty meats and overcooked eggs. Most omelets I've had are at least cooked quickly enough to prevent the eggs from burning, and quiches have the benefit of crusts to keep the innards from searing, but frittatas have crackly, brown bottoms that taste bitter and sulfuric -- and the smell of burnt eggs is stanky up there with canned dog food and tunafish farts.

We got stuck with frittatas when the American dining public became interested to the point of mad obsession with rustic Italian favorites sometime in the 1950s. The preparation is rustic, too: They are made by dumping veggies, meat and cheese into beaten raw eggs, the mixture is then slopped into a frying pan, flipped, and duly scorched.

Goes with 4.jpg
4. Graham cracker crusts
I like graham crackers -- who doesn't? They are crispy, sweet rectangles that are good to dip in things, melt chocolate and well-charred marshmallows on, or just eat by themselves. But for some reason when you crush them up with melted butter and stuff them into pie pans, they become something sinister, they become...useless, annoying filler that takes away from dessert fillings like cheesecake. It's frustrating to cut a slice of cheesecake or Key Lime pie and get a couple inches of the good stuff -- and double the amount of dry, crummy graham cracker crust.

We got stuck with graham crackers when Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham invented "Graham bread" in 1829. He wanted something snackable for his vegetarian diet, and at the time commercially produced baked goods were chock-full of nasty additives to get the whitest of white flour appearances possible, and brown breads made with whole-grain flours were considered fit for poor people (my, how times have changed). Graham believed his product was more nutritious, and a cure for alcoholism and sexual urges -- he got the first part right, but the jury is still out on the last two.

Goes with 3 (1).jpg
3. Water with a hint of flavor
Whoever dreamed up making bottled water with just enough flavor to make you want more flavor should be drowned in a giant barrel of Kool-Aid. I get the benefits of bottled water, and I agree with the merits of tasty fruit drinks in bottles as well, but water with just a drop of some sort of fruit flavoring is maddening. Either make it water or make it something else..

How we got stuck with this: I actually tried to discover who invented "hint of" bottled water by searching the magical Internet, and could not find a name (if I had, I would have also sent a strongly worded e-mail message to that person, expressing my displeasure). But I did learn that the history of bottled water is much older than I'd thought. In the U.S., commercial bottled water can be traced back to the 1700s, and it got popular in the early nineteenth century when glass bottles were mass-produced and affordable. The 1800s saw bottles of spring water selling as a more healthy alternative to water from other sources, like wells -- and there was probably some truth to that -- but even in the olden days Americans enjoyed being trendy and drinking bottled water as a status thing. Some things don't change.

My Voice Nation Help
21 comments
Alissa Smalls
Alissa Smalls

Frittatas and graham cracker crusts...really?

Mantonat
Mantonat topcommenter

Raisins in cookies are the worst!

Josh Barrack
Josh Barrack

Too trashy for me, like everything in Denver. I'm going to stop following this blog.

ScubaSteve
ScubaSteve topcommenter

Whoever cooked frittatas for Jenn clearly didn't know what the hell they were doing.  A true frittata is started on the stovetop over medium to medium high heat and is stirred before being left alone for about four to five minutes until the bottom is just set and the top is beginning to set.  Then the skillet must be put under the oven broiler and broiled just until the top is set and very lightly browned. When the frittata is done, the bottom should also only be a very light brown.  Frittatas should never be flipped, turned, or anything else but stirred on the stovetop before the bottom sets.

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

@Mantonat Ugh--I should put those in a list. The golden raisins are aight, though.


Kwhip
Kwhip moderator

@Mantonat So true. I always expect them to be chocolate chip cookies and then am wretchedly disappointed at the last possible second.

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

@Josh Barrack What parts of Denver are you hangin' out in, pal?


GFTW
GFTW

@Jordan Nicole Montoya Yes.

GFTW
GFTW

@Skid Jarrett Gilmore Yeah, pretty bad when Jenn's writing is (accurately) tagged as actual malware.

TheFatLion
TheFatLion

@foodcrazy   Agree!  It's obvious Jenn has never had a frittata at my house.  Your description is fully accurate.  I like how she says half cooked veggies.  If she had one with fully cooked veggies she would complain about them being mushy with no crunch, if they were raw she would complain about them not being cooked and having an adverse texture compared to the eggs.  The rest of her comments about frittata's make no sense, so I'll just not waste the time.

Also, I'm more of a paleo/primal eater, but really, how can a whole wheat grilled cheese sandwich stack up to a white bread one dipped in tomato soup?

At least Andy Rooney made sense and was funny at the same time...  Jenn, go watch some of his clips.

monopod
monopod

@foodcrazy Agreed.  Seems like she's railing against crappy frittatas, not the real thing.

TheJeff
TheJeff

@jenna-furrr @TheJeff 

I wasn't insinuating that you couldn't have different opinions, only commenting on the irony that one publication has pieces claiming both that it's too hard to find and that it's gross.  For the record, I'm in your camp on this one.

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

@TheFatLion @foodcrazy Oh, the paleo diet....lol. Check back in when you are on the next diet trend...it's hard to keep up. : )

TheFatLion
TheFatLion

@jenna-furrr @TheFatLion @foodcrazy   I was thinking about the "what Jenn Likes Diet", but apparently there is nothing on it!  :-)


Trend? Man ate that way for 100's of thousands of years, and the first published recommendation was by Banting in 1863.  Well, at least you didn't say "fad".

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...