Reader: Go ahead and slam daiquiris, but leave old-fashioneds alone

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"There is a thin line between self-indulgence and being a dickhead, a line that any bartender could draw for you." That's how Jenn Wohletz started Friday's piece "five cocktails only a dickhead could love," and dozens of commenters -- bartenders included -- thought she definitely crossed that line with her commentary, earning herself a bar-mat special.

See also:
- Five cocktails only a dickhead could love
- Best Contemporary Cocktail Bar 2013: Squeaky Bean
- Guess where I'm drinking this Old-Fashioned?

Says Clarke Boyer, Denver Expat:

Jenn Wohletz' recent article "Five Cocktails Only a Dickhead Would Order" created quite a kerfuffle all the way out here in Los Angeles! Tongue-in-cheek criticism of lowbrow drinking culture is certainly welcome by us "dickheads," and I really appreciate a good slam on the Bud Light Lime and blended daiquiri set.

On the other hand, it shows great ignorance to call Old Fashioned drinkers "dickheads." The Old Fashioned is one of the oldest cocktails in existence, hence the name, and it is perhaps the greatest way to let whiskey speak in a cocktail. In some form, the Old Fashioned is likely a part of every cocktail list you've ever seen, and any respectable bartender should be able to confidently whip one out.

Ms. Wohletz further dug her grave with a gibe against the Martini: "most bars don't even bother carrying dry vermouth." Let's pause for a quick reality check: every bar in our Solar System has a bottle of dry vermouth on their speed rack! It also appears that Ms. Wohletz does not know the difference between vermouth and olive juice, although I'll admit that I am having a tough time understanding her mediocre ability to use words to make her point. I wonder what Ms. Wohletz would say to an old-timer, perhaps a WWII vet, who sat down at a bar and ordered a dirty martini. Would she call him a "dickhead"?

I'd be willing to bet that Ms. Wohletz didn't include the Mojito or the Cosmo on her little list because she probably loves to order those at her obnoxious LODO meat markets. Since Ms. Wohletz called me and many of my friends "dickheads," I'm going to go ahead and call her an ignorant bitch with no credibility to write one more word about drinking culture ever again.

Was Jenn Wohletz's piece all wet? You can read it and then join the cocktail conversation already under way here.



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7 comments
Karen Hemmerle
Karen Hemmerle

I was surprised to see the Old Fashioned on the list. I assume we're also dickheads if we order Manhattans, Bloody Marys, or a Whiskey or Vodka Sour.

GFTW
GFTW

Jenn Wolowitz is a strawberry daiquiri.

Thom Toomey
Thom Toomey

The Old Fashion is a delicious classic cocktail, still enjoy one at times.

Harusami Is
Harusami Is

I learned bartending skills by a real "Mr. Miyagi." Sugiyama started his bartending career at the old Cosmopolitan Hotel in the 1930's. I am grateful for his lessons... and no, I am no longer a bartender, but I respect and admire those that take that job seriously.

bondadprevalece
bondadprevalece topcommenter

It's embarrassing how seriously some people took that article, CP included. Dude, maybe you should put on your fedora, mix up an old-fashioned, and take a chill pill.

Harusami Is
Harusami Is

Seriously, if a bartender is upset by having to make a "difficult" drink, he or she should just get a job at a Starbucks and STFU.

monopod
monopod

Don't feed the trolls, people.  The article was designed to get people in a lather (which it did, based on the number of comments).  Don't worry, Jenn's not going to take your fruity virgin daquiri away.

(For the record, my $.02: any bartender that can't make a good old fashioned (rye, sugar or simple syrup, bitters - hold the fruit), dry martini (london dry gin, dry vermouth, olive), or daquiri (rum, lime juice, simple syrup) probably shouldn't be behind the stick.  I do agree that frozen virgin drinks and bud lite lime are abominations on this earth, and that list also ought to include long island iced teas and red bull & vodka).

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