Reader: Upscale burger places are great if you want to eat surrounded by douchebags

griffs.jpg
Griff's Hamburgers on South Broadway.
Two H Burgers close, two Smashburgers open -- and burger fans unload a flood of opinions on what makes a good burger; whether Smashburger, Larkburger and the Cherry Cricket are over-rated; and if paying more than $10 for a burger makes you a dipshit.

And the burger battles don't end there.

See also:
- Reader: Smashburger, Larkburger and the Cherry Cricket are all over-rated
- Best Drive-Thru Burger: Griff's Burger Bar
- Best Old American Burger: Jim's Burger Haven

Says Matt:

Larkburger, Cherry Cricket, Highland Tap, and Mountain Sun are all great if you're a dipshit who wants to pay $10+ for a burger with fries consumed while being surrounded by douchebags. If you want a real stripped-down burger made from quality meat that isn't smothered in goat cheese, caramelized onions, or some other foodie shit, go to Jim's Burger Haven or Griff's. It's what a burger should be. A nice beef taste and some ketchup and mustard.

The foodie-ification of America has turned traditional-fare into a shit-show of 'our take on...' which is shorthand for we decided to ruin a classic by littering your plate with overpriced ingredients that dummies willing pay exorbitant prices for because they read some ridiculous food blogger write 150 words about truffle oil. At the end of the day it's a goddamn burger. if it doesn't taste like beef, maybe some pickles, cheese, and condiments on a bun, then you're being taken for a ride.

Where's the best basic goddamn burger in town?

And for those who are willing to eat -- and pay -- for a fancified version, what's the best gourmet burger in town?



Location Info

Griff's Hamburgers

742 S. Broadway, Denver, CO

Category: Restaurant

Jim's Burger Haven

7855 Sheridan Blvd., Westminster, CO

Category: Restaurant


Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
45 comments
Vicki Constan
Vicki Constan

I want an In & Out here in Highlands ranch...... I grew up on Steak n Shake... the ones here... are not those..

rebeldor
rebeldor

Anyone who eats a hamburger made of corn-fed CAFO "beef" instead of grass-fed beef is a douchebag anyway.

Claire Walter
Claire Walter

IMHO, people who call other people douchebags are themselves douchebags. Yes, Matt, that meals you.

meanstreetsofsouthdenver
meanstreetsofsouthdenver

problem is, Griff's just isn't very good anymore. I think they've gone to a cheaper supplier; those patties taste like crap and they've got, like, little pieces of bone or (I'm not kidding) tiny pebbles or something in them. 

Red Robin's QSR concept on the 16th st mall, Red Robin Express, is making a better burger than the Larkburger around the corner or the Smashburger down the mall, quicker and for less $$$.  Tavern Double for ~ $5 is the bomb and you can make it a triple for $1 more.

Fitz Greg
Fitz Greg

Hey Westword, why did Baja Fresh in Aurora close???

metaltearsphotography
metaltearsphotography

I think this reader must have a wee bit of a (pickle?) chip on his/her shoulder, or maybe just having a really bad day.  Very sourpuss. There's a saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."  I have been to Cherry Cricket, Smashburger, and many other burger joints and never find myself surrounded by so-called "douchebags." Granted, Cherry Cricket can be a bit loud at times so it's hard to have a conversation, but I've never considered the people there "douchebags."  And their burgers are really good.  I rarely pay much attention to the people around me at all.  If I'm with friends, I'm paying attention to them; if I'm by myself I've got my nose in a book.  Yes, some burger places are overpriced, but not all.  Hm...now I want a burger! 

Michael Beckerman
Michael Beckerman

I just ate at Swift's on Sante Fe a few minutes ago. A small diner type place that has been there since 1960. More actual character and charm in that place than any of these new modern places will ever have. They could all learn a lot from a place like Swift's.

Kyle Dill
Kyle Dill

I dont think his 150 words from the other side have swayed anybody's opinion. Even red robins burgers are over $10

John J. Wood
John J. Wood

The fact that the blogger uses caramelized onions as "foodie shit" immediately make that post a joke!

contender
contender

Won't you be surrounded by douchebags if you eat ANYWHERE in Cherry Creek?

contender
contender

Won't you be surrounded by douchebags if you eat ANYWHERE in Cherry Creek?

Jon Severson
Jon Severson

BTW- Kings Chef Diner in Colorado Springs still is the best burger in Colorado.

Jon Severson
Jon Severson

Douchbags. Takes one to know one? Chill you little douche. Burgers are burgers. Just enjoy. Kinda like pizza, even when it's bad it's good.

bwolf63
bwolf63

We ate at the H Burger LoDo location once.  The only douchebags there were the staff.  We visited on a slow Monday night, and it took the bartender over 20 minutes to make my wife's drink.  The burger was decent, but didn't compare to other places in town (Cherry Cricket, Steuben's, etc.)  Perhaps if the staff lost their d-bag attitudes, the place would still be in business.

Jeremy Jojola
Jeremy Jojola

Article translation: "Stop liking what I hate!"

JimTom
JimTom

"Wolf" Burger. You for sure won't be surrounded by douchebags but you might want to put your wallat in your front pocket.

mightyacorn
mightyacorn

Like bigkahuna, I just make my own. If I want it to be fancy and have jalapeno cream cheese or caramelized onions, then I just make them myself. Then I don't have to be surrounded by ANY people, and still get noms. 

I do like the JCB at My Brother's Bar at 15th and Platte. Especially if you put some of their onions rings on it. Mmmmm

Ed Haas
Ed Haas

OG Burgers screwed my burger up the last two times I tried them. Never again.

Ed Haas
Ed Haas

No, that reader made a particularly douchey point about not liking goat cheese and caramelized onions, that's all I got from that. The Elm on Colfax. Now that's a good burger.

K194
K194

Caramelized onions are "foodie shit"???

Jonny Hamel
Jonny Hamel

Best burger in Denver? OG Burgers truck, bar none!

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

Okay--Cherry Cricket: I agree about the "eating surrounded by douchebags" part, so I get my orders to-go, but the burgers are amazing.

Michael564
Michael564

Big Macs and Quarter Pounders for 1 penny at McDs TODAY only!
And then you'll understand why $10 isn't so exceptional a price to pay (although I prefer not to pay that price -- I'd rather find a good set of 3 sliders for $5).


davebarnes
davebarnes topcommenter

Crown burger.

Pastrami. Yum.

Gerard_Portmanteau
Gerard_Portmanteau

Griff's? Griff's is about two steps below eating rotten melon slices from an elementary school dumpster. Admit it: you're not actually a human being, you're a sentient raccoon.

BIGKAHUNA
BIGKAHUNA

Or you know, you could just make your own goddamn burger at home for $2.50 and put whatever shitty mustard and ketchup you want on your Bimbo white buns.  I don't see the need to complain about a burger that costs $10-$15, just don't order it if you don't want it.  That's why a lot of these so called 'fancy' burger places have kids options as well. 

Mantonat
Mantonat topcommenter

It's amazing that the burger you choose has now become a badge or a stand-in for your personality. Hey, I don't know you but I'd be happy to judge you based on the burger you're cramming into your face!

I love a good, cheap, messy no-frills burger in a classic setting. But I also love variety and I appreciate when a cook tries to do a little something different. I'll take a double from Grandpa's AND the one with the brie and caramelized onions and whatever else you can balance between the meat and the bun. I had one with crawdads recently and it was spectacular. So  maybe I'm a pretentious douchebag, or maybe I just really, really love food. Don't judge me until after I wipe the (artisanal, Chinese five-spice, hand-crafted) ketchup from my face. 

WillieStortz
WillieStortz topcommenter

If $10 dollars is really too much to pay for quality, then should you be eating out at all? Maybe it's best you stay home and split a box of mac and cheese with your dog. 

Places like Jims and Griff's are great for people with a limited palate that don't mind dining with rednecks.


gambit688
gambit688

@Jon Severson I would vote Sheldon's Luncheonette personally

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

@BIGKAHUNA Fuck all that--Bimbo buns are always stale. Go Sara Lee--show your family you care enough to buy a soft hamburger bun.

barslinger
barslinger

@Mantonat  I don't know who you are, but, you should be writing the restaurant reviews..........keep up the comments they are always worth the read.

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

@WillieStortz Hmmmm...dining with rednecks or douchebags...it's a toughie....I call it a tie.

BIGKAHUNA
BIGKAHUNA

spoiler, i was being sarcastic, i only eat the andrew jackson at TAG BB

jenna-furrr
jenna-furrr topcommenter

@BIGKAHUNA I totes love to make welfare green pepper burgers at home.....

barslinger
barslinger

@Mantonat @barslinger great, I don't always have time to read all articles, but, will make a point to dedicate more time to your articles. 

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Loading...