Top five ways to deal with the Srirachapocalypse

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For those of you not keeping up on the latest news involving Sriracha, the versatile and beloved chili sauce may be getting scarce, thanks to some residents of Irwindale, California, who are petitioning the city to shut down the Huy Fong Foods factory, citing irritated eyes and throats and headaches due to cock-sauce production. As a result, there could soon be a Sriracha shortage, and this could bring about gloom, doom and an honest-to-gods Srirachapocalypse.

Here are five ways to survive the Srirachapocalypse:

See also: Five foods and drinks that should never have Sriracha added to them

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5. Beat the horde -- and hoard it

Not having unfettered access to the coveted chili sauce is almost too painful to imagine. That's why having a backup stash -- and a backup to the backup -- is smart in the event that Sriracha becomes scarce. So right now, hit every Asian food market, every big-box chain store and every family member's cupboard to pillage.

Then hide your spicy bottles of loot under lock and key, and don't tell anyone you have a secret stash unless you want to be pillaged yourself.

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4. Try a different brand of sauce

It's almost sacrilegious to speak the names of other, lesser chili sauces (so I won't), but yes, there are other brands out there. Some are jarred, some are in less recognizable bottles -- with no telltale white rooster -- and some are even available in little tear-packets. Sure, changing brands won't be easy when you are used to the distinctive flavor of real Siracha, and the substitutes will lack the ever-winning combination of sweet, vinegary and hot bitey flavors, but at least the back-burner sauces aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

But changing brands should only be done if you are past the insane level of desperation.

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3. Use what you have sparingly -- make it last

The difficulty level involved with using only a teensy-weensy bit of sriracha at a time is higher than the delicious endorphin rush that you get from really squirting on the stuff. But if the scary rumors are true, then you may only be able to use a little drop of Sriracha on each piece of chicken, steak, pork chop or slice of tofu, in order to make what you have stretch as far as possible. A single bottle of cock sauce could last months if you mete it out like a miser.

This rule for Sriracha survival does not apply to hot dogs, however: Some things demand a full ribbon.


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63 comments
PinkTank
PinkTank

No I agree.I would miss it really bad.

Rob Timlin
Rob Timlin

Make that 295 as soon as I get back to CO!

Kim Ducey
Kim Ducey

Did you not read #5? Don't tell anyone you have done this!

Kristy North
Kristy North

Money to be made on eBay when the supplies really dry up!!

PinkTank
PinkTank

We have been called gangsters from time to time.

Steph Adams
Steph Adams

How you guys were able to get your 300 bottles, only one word to describe it...gangster...

Chelly Serna
Chelly Serna

What. The. Fuck. I go through a bottle a month and you pull this shit on me?

James Roberts
James Roberts

Srirachapocalyse, Really? With all of the hot sauces that are out there now it can't be that hard to substitute with something else and some garlic. What a load of crap.

Angelo Atencio
Angelo Atencio

Are people on the Internet born retarded or raised retarded?

Auden Ledahl
Auden Ledahl

I entertained hoarding Sriracha for a minute. It'll be reborn just like Twinkies, though.

Erica Vaughn
Erica Vaughn

I just purchased a bottle at the Soopers no problem. Im sure that bottle will out live me.

Anna Gingher
Anna Gingher

i lived next to a water treatment plant and they never shut that down... so why bother over something less irritating than the smell of shit on a hot summer's day?

Mann Rob Sable Flowers
Mann Rob Sable Flowers

Can't believe there's actually an arguement. Get that shit out of here. I don't see the big deal about it, its not even that good.

Chris Good Eagle
Chris Good Eagle

Good. We should actually cook and eat food for the flavor it has and it should be able to stand on it's own. Without masking the flavor with generic heat.

Mark Mendoza
Mark Mendoza

H-Mart has a HUGE display, HUGE...also Sambal Oelek is tastier imho.

Jordan Vigil
Jordan Vigil

Dog I work at safe way I've known about this for a while Brandon Carrillo

Erin Schol
Erin Schol

Guess I'm going to have to start stock piling Sriracha sauce for the zombie apocalypse now too.

Jonah Fox
Jonah Fox

This fad is way played out. Like Chuck Norris Facts and Bacon.

Joshua Chase
Joshua Chase

whats with all the new sriracha sandwiches at subway? Hmm...

Patty Leidy
Patty Leidy

I incited a stampede in world market the other day by mentioning what was going on with it..one lady grabbed 5 bottles

Tianna Crowell
Tianna Crowell

Dianna Delgado Marciano Upset Img Ron Jackson ... See?!

Amber Lapp
Amber Lapp

Autumn Gil sriracha is delicious

Diego Raya
Diego Raya

Benny Crocker , sounds like good advice.

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